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| Forums: March 2010 Kickstart Forum Archive: Mixed marriage | |||
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| essie
Joined: 02/26/10 Posts: 163 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Sunday, February 28, 2010 at 8:24 AM eejmom, definitely call the restaurant to say you have reservations and would like to speak to the chef (or sometimes an assistant) about your dietary requirements. I have yet to find a place that can't accommodate me! Most chefs are actually happy to show off their skills. In Durham NC, the hotel made me a pasta with a mushroom marinara sauce, huge salad and side of steamed veggies with herbed olive oil. None of it was on the menu and it was all great. In Portland ME, a chef at a very meat-centric restaurant created an entire 6 course tasting menu for me and my husband. (That was a special occasion.) You'll be surprised what they can do. Also, calling ahead eases whatever anxiety you might have about "making a fuss" during ordering. You can just tell the waitperson you've called ahead for a vegan meal and it's likely nobody will even blink. Enjoy! |
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| runnergirl
Joined: 02/28/10 Posts: 6 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Sunday, February 28, 2010 at 10:03 AM Hi all! I'm new to the plant-based diet world, though I've been leaning this way for awhile. I am the only member of my household who chooses to live this way, and though my family isn't negative about it, "support" isn't a term I would use to describe how they respond. My question is for those of you with more experience than myself: can you recommend any cookbooks, web sites, etc. that give advice for cooking for one? It's often frustrating to use recipes that are designed for families (even when you try to cut them in half), because I end up with tons of leftovers!! Any help you could offer would be appreciated. I'm really excited to start this 21 days and appreciate this forum as a source of support!! |
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JamieR
 Location: Mendocino Coast, Northern California Posts: 116 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Tuesday, March 2, 2010 at 2:49 AM Until February, I'd been in a mixed marriage for a long time! I went vegetarian (not vegan, though), back in 2005. The way we kind of worked it out was that I made vegetarian food for the two of us (once I went veg, I just didn't want to handle/purchase meat), and if he wanted meat, he could bring in the prepared stuff (from fast food places or the grocery store) or make it himself. My only cooking exception was holidays; I've made chicken or turkey in the crockpot for him on holidays like Thanksgiving. I've found, for him, so long as it is hearty (beans, potatoes, etc.), he likes it...vegetarian or not. We prep a lot of things together after work. He seems to be more amenable to trying "new, weird, vegetarian" food if he has a hand in the preparation. He didn't join me for the vegan Kickstart in January, but after some long discussions about health, did decide to join me going vegan in February. And he's done so well! We're both surprised! He said he hasn't really missed the meat or cheese. At the end of February, I asked him if he wanted to continue with the vegan way of eating...and he says he does! Quite a change for my middle-aged, meat-and-potatoes guy. He likes the energy boost he's gotten from it, and feels its the heatlhiest he's been in a long time. When we started February, we both looked at it as a new adventure, trying new recipes, new ingredients, new ways of cooking. It's been helpful to have that positive mindset. Maybe the subject could be broached, if you want someone to join you, as, hey, let's just try this together for 21 days and see how it goes. You never know if someone will be open for a "temporary" change. September Kickstart Goals: Walk/bike daily, keep up with forum, 100% low-fat vegan experimenting with maximizing FLAVOR!
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| smtrumbo
Joined: 03/01/10 Posts: 17 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Tuesday, March 2, 2010 at 8:00 AM I know how everyone feels. For over two years now it was hard making dinners for my husband and not use eggs, cheese, meat but then I found veggie crumbles, soy cheese, egg replacement (or cornstarch and water as an egg replacement) to make wonderful meals. That's why I have decided to turn vegan. When I see a greasy hamburger I get sick thinking about my poor arteries...sorta like a clogged sink or toilet. Talk about needing a plumber. We are also animal activists also. The thought of eating something that used to be alive and then bullied until put to death...NOT. |
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| cyclingmarge
Joined: 03/01/10 Location: Seattle Posts: 31 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Tuesday, March 2, 2010 at 11:01 AM Hi! mine is a mixed marriage also. My husband is pretty good, but he doesn't want to give up seafood, eggs, or Pho (Vietnamese beef noodle soup). I was almost a vegetarian before I started this. I love the age of the internet and all the vegan blogs with terrfic recipes I have discovered. I finally realized from all my reading that there is no value to eating artery clogging cheese. I'm hopeing to stick with this after 21 days and like a lot of you I enjoy a nice glass of wine. |
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sandra41
 Location: California Posts: 43 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Tuesday, March 2, 2010 at 11:20 AM I'm just going to be honest...my husband does NOT support my eating habits and finds them very annoying, but he has always been one to follow main steam media ideas. I have been a vegan since mid December. I won't argue with him, because I met him this way 22 years ago and feel I am the one who changed the game plan. The saving grace is he is a firefighter and is away from the house 3-4 days. With that being said, he will eat beans and salad for dinner, and every meal does not have to have meat. May I add, Disneyland is the worst place to eat if you are a vegan. We just got back and it was horrible.( Not disneyland, just their menus.) I did make energy bars and brought fresh fruit. But there is only so much you can do. Yes, I know churro's, cotton candy and sodas are vegan, but I don't (try not to eat) eat any refined, processed, or preservatives. Good luck to all my "blended" family friends. Your stomach shouldn't be a waist basket. |
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craftycat70
 Location: Southern California Posts: 139 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Tuesday, March 2, 2010 at 12:05 PM
The saving grace is he is a firefighter and is away from the house 3-4 days. With that being said, he will eat beans and salad for dinner, and every meal does not have to Since he's a "firefighter" maybe you should get him the "Engine 2 Diet" by Rip Esselstyn http://engine2diet.com/ Craftycat - Southern, CA |
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| crowgirl
Joined: 02/26/10 Posts: 10 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Tuesday, March 2, 2010 at 2:00 PM Overheard the other day while husband was talking on the phone: What a guy. Do I think he's ready to go vegan? no. I'm doing this as a practice at the moment, who knows what the future will hold? I am hopeful that all the great benefits I have read here I will experience. But I am looking at my second day, I feel great (1 hour of tough personal training this AM and no problems) and tracking my calories and macronutrients finds me at a perfect balance for me. Also, I have really appreciated how...pretty? my plate looks. All the colors! And I listened to a cd from Peta and the gentleman on the tape said you cannot consider yourself an environmentalist if you are not a vegetarian. Ouch. That's clarity for ya. I am a self proclaimed Treehugger. Runnergirl- Nava Atlas has a cookbook called "The Vegetarian Family" ( I think that's it) and most of the recipes make 4-6 servings. I make the whole batch of it if it doesn't have potatoes in it, and freeze it in single/double servings. Also, "How it All Vegan" has some recipes and ideas for college students that might fit into your lifestyle too. Those 2 are some of my favorites.Hope that helps. Peace, |
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| Sassy
Joined: 03/01/10 Posts: 6 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Tuesday, March 2, 2010 at 3:10 PM For eejmom about the favorite restaurant that you haven't been to for years-- It's possible you'll be pleasantly surprised. Most steak houses that I've been in recently have a "veggie plate" (you have to watch out for cooked with bacon and such) or sides to make a vegan meal. Our favorite barbecue place (Penguin Ed's, Fayetteville, Arkansas) has a whole vegetarian section on their menu. |
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| Narguile
Joined: 03/02/10 Posts: 8 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Tuesday, March 2, 2010 at 11:04 PM Hi Eejmom! I have been vegetarian for over three years now, and my husband and nine year old son are the opposite end of the spectrum, LOL! Initially, it was a little tough for them to figure out why I was changing my eating habits, but they quickly adjusted. I usually make meals for them that have some aspect that I can have also - things like pasta, burritos, etc. They have been cool with me taking it to the next level, and my son even asks me sometimes about vegetarianism, etc.
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2meowers
 Location: Sequim, WA Posts: 127 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Wednesday, March 3, 2010 at 12:01 AM cyclingmarge wrote: Hi! mine is a mixed marriage also. My husband is pretty good, but he doesn't want to give up seafood, eggs, or Pho (Vietnamese beef noodle soup). I was almost a vegetarian before I started this. I love the age of the internet and all the vegan blogs with terrfic recipes I have discovered. I finally realized from all my reading that there is no value to eating artery clogging cheese. I'm hoping to stick with this after 21 days and like a lot of you I enjoy a nice glass of wine. If you want to try to continue in vegan style, let me tell you not all wine is vegan! I stumbled upon this fact somewhere - FYI: http://www.vrg.org/journal/vj97jan/971wine.htm To select those wineries, brewies, etc. that are vegan friendly: http://www.barnivore.com/ I've still so much to discover and learn! Who'd have thought that wine was not vegan! Baby steps, people, baby steps... As a group, we will help animals, protest factory farming, help our environment, our health, and feel more peaceful in the long run. Truly not a matter of becoming "perfect" vegans, it's a matter of striving to become better individuals for ourselves and the world around us. Stay strong, people! You ALL are making a difference for the animals and the world we all live in. I thank you for giving veganism a chance... "But for the sake of some little mouthful of flesh we deprive a soul of the sun and light, and of that proportion of life and time it had been born into the world to enjoy." Plutarch. |
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| mommyof2nc
Joined: 12/31/09 Location: North Carolina Posts: 172 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Wednesday, March 3, 2010 at 7:43 AM [quote="crowgirl"]Overheard the other day while husband was talking on the phone: What a guy. LOL It sounds like we're married to the same guy! My husband eats meat and so does my son but my daughter is vegetarian (she does eat cheese sometimes, though not as much lately) and I have been vegetarian for a couple of years and vegan since December 2009. My husband loves to grill, so he just makes whatever he wants on the grill and then eats what I'm having as a side (or sometimes, he'll just eat what I'm having). He really likes some of the vegan dishes I make - like vegan paella, chili, etc. It's kind of amazing to me because when I met my husband 15 years ago, the only veggies he ate were potatoes and canned corn and now, he eats almost any kind of veggie - plus beans and even tofu, which is really a shocker to me! LOL It's taken a long time to get him to this stage, though. I've never pushed my eating habits on him - I just go on about my business and he either tries he or he doesn't. I think he kind of likes that I don't eat animal products because it makes our grocery bill cheaper. |
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| crowgirl
Joined: 02/26/10 Posts: 10 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Wednesday, March 3, 2010 at 2:23 PM mommyof2nc- your Dh's name isn't Glen is it? If it is, we may have a problem... I always make the joke that my husband and son have eaten tofu more times than they know! Hope everyone is having a great day! fran |
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| mommyof2nc
Joined: 12/31/09 Location: North Carolina Posts: 172 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Wednesday, March 3, 2010 at 5:32 PM crowgirl wrote: mommyof2nc- your Dh's name isn't Glen is it? If it is, we may have a problem...  I always make the joke that my husband and son have eaten tofu more times than they know! Hope everyone is having a great day! fran No, not Glen. That would be funny, though, if that was his name! LOL I sneak tofu into lots of things my husband doesn't know about, too. |
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eejmom
 Location: Inverness, IL Posts: 7 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Monday, May 3, 2010 at 9:55 PM Sooo glad these forums are still up. thanks so much to everyone who responded during this last kick-start. My husband is still on Atkins. His good cholesterol is up; his bad cholesterol is down. However, he's still on medication for cholesterol and blood pressure. His triglicerides are 50 with medication. His blood sugar is good. He's lost 42 pounds. The bad news is he's been on the Atkins first stage diet since 12/15/09. I'm worried about him and I keep adding more and more to his dinner salad, since that's all he gets as far as vegetables. No fruit since 12/15.09. His doctor is ecstatic and says what they all say: "Keep doing what you're doing." I'm still losing weight, but no where near what he's losing. I keep telling myself women lose weight more slowly. Can't wait for September. I've been mostly faithful to the vegan diet, cheated twice and felt horrible afterwards (not physically, but mentally). |
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mollyhorn
 Location: Fort Worth, TX Posts: 582 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Wednesday, May 5, 2010 at 6:29 PM Keep the faith! Women do lose weight more slowly, and more importantly, you're losing it in a healthy manner. A few things I learned from a dietitian (RD who doesn't argue with veganism); some are common sense, but some were new to me. If you're not already familiar with it, the website http://whfoods.org/ is a great resource to find information on healthy foods. You could use this as a means to both help educate your husband on the nutrient density of vegetables, as well as to choose the foods with the highest nutrient density as the ones to feed him, since he is so selective. Explore the site, but if you look at the top for "Food List" and "Essential Nutrients," you'll find a lot of good information. If you look on the left side, scroll down to "Features on the WHFoods Website" and look for "Feeling Great." This section explains the way the website works. Good luck. I wish you the best. Just remember that the foods you are eating help not only you, but other humans, animals, and the planet. You're doing good every single day by making the vegan choice. Molly Horn |
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| eejmom
Location: Inverness, IL Posts: 7 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Wednesday, May 5, 2010 at 8:37 PM Hi, thanks for replying. I bookmarked the whfoods.org site and, wouldn't you know it, they're focusing on garbanzo beans this week! I also didn't know about the fruit. I've always heard that fruit is cleansing and vegetables are nourishing, so I try to eat a lot of fruit in the morning (via the Diamond's books that I read years ago). When it comes right down to it, my husband and I are not competing to lose the most weight, and as you say, I want to lose it in a healthy way, so I'm losing just fine. I love the fact that I'll be at my right weight, not too much or too little, eventually. On a side note, since I've been vegan, I find that I'm having a hard time cooking for him. I'm squashing it down, since I'm very traditional and don't work outside the home, preferring to keep a nice home for my family, plus we respect each others choices in food. What I find is that when I'm scrambling his eggs, I've noticed the yolks, how big or well-formed they are, thinking "that would have been one honking chick" and my gag reflex is kicking in bigtime for animal foods. Sad but true. I reign myself in by realizing that I don't actually have to eat the food, just prepare it. Talk to you later, have to flip a burger for him now (lol). |
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| mollyhorn
Location: Fort Worth, TX Posts: 582 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Friday, May 7, 2010 at 12:08 AM Fruit is good for you – it's just not 100% vital to health. The way it was described to me was this: Fruit is nutrients + sugar, Vegetables are nutrients + fiber. Fiber is better for you, sugar tastes better, therefore people tend to eat more fruit than they do vegetables, unfortunately. I'm lucky to live alone and only have to cook for myself. That's a really interesting thought process – "one honking chick" – *lol* Molly Horn |
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And they appreciate the notice, but most can even do something impromptu. Even chain restaurants, steakhouses and hotel restaurants have done things for me, off the menu. 
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