21-Day Vegan Kickstart

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Forums: January 2010 Kickstart Forum Archive: Family :-/
Created on: 02/11/10 06:38 PM Views: 3843 Replies: 10
Family :-/
Posted Thursday, February 11, 2010 at 6:38 PM

OK, I guess this is just a venting post. I tried to raise my son lacto-ovo vegetarian early on but now he's a meat and potatoes teenage couch potato with a high-fat, low-fiber junk food diet. If I don't stock the kitchen accordingly, my mom will go to the store and stock us up on individually packaged convenience foods.

No one in my immediate family is healthy. When the rest of you talk about sharing with/converting your family I feel sort of sad and helpless. My mom even had gastric bypass for her GERD and now has bizarre abdominal pains that the doctors haven't quite figured out. She can't eat much fiber, she can barely eat anything at all and her hair/skin/nails show that she's obviously malnourished. I often think her doctors are giving her bad advice, but they're "the best" the top of their specialties...

Before the surgery she had to limit her liquid intake because of one med (and no she didn't give up the starbucks) and also consume crazy amounts of salt (maybe the same med, maybe another). I can't see any possible way that all of the restrictions and side effects could do anything but further deteriorate her quality of life and she's only 55!

It seems like the more doctors she goes to the worse her health slowly gets. All these years and I don't think one doctor has ever focused on healthy living and diet. Correct that, the GP has been getting onto my dad for some time due to weight, cholesterol and now diabetes. (My mom prefers her specialists though.)

It's so frustrating and surreal! Thanks for allowing me to get that off my chest. Dinner at their house tonight.

Edited 03/02/10 2:50 PM
RE: Family :-/
Posted Thursday, February 11, 2010 at 7:15 PM

Do you live with your Mother? If not, why is she bringing food to your house. I would try to put an end to that.

At this point, son is old enough to make his own choices.

All you can do, all ANY of us really can do, is to be a good example. Eat well, have glowing health and when people ask you, then you share.

My husband, though open to many of the things I serve at home will still go and have breakfast and lunch that is full of fat, sodium and other junk. He's on drugs for cholesterol and high blood pressure. He's been convinced that it's hereditary and drugs are the only answer. At his age, I'm not going to change his mind. He was already in his 50's when I met him, already on his drugs and convinced his doctor was right. He brags to everyone about how healthy I am, how well I eat, etc, etc. AND he'll eat what I cook, he'll eat vegan unless he's out. Then he just eats what he likes. Came home from a trip to Home Depot the other day with a milk shake and french fries! Sad

I've gotten long winded, but the bottom line is all you can do is make the good food available and be an example. I sure wouldn't let other people bring food into my house. That's just me.

Vikki ~ Wild4Stars@gmail.com

RE: Family :-/
Posted Thursday, February 11, 2010 at 8:28 PM

Awww, Txgirl, you've got a full plate! (at least it's vegan!) Very Happy

I agree it may be time to let Mom know that her efforts to derail your rules are O-v-e-r!! (tho this won't be easy, I'm sure, because she definitely seems to think "mother knows best". Well..you're a mother too!)

About your son, I agree with Wild4Stars, that leading by example may have an good impact. If it's any consolation, my son went through a sloth-like existence for a while (he's almost 27) - sent waaaay too much time watching TV, playing video games, drinking beer, eating beef and potatoes - hold the veggies. He became quite overweight and sluggish. Somehow, some way, the light has gone on and while he is not giving up meat (or beer!), he's definitely improving his lifestyle - exercising more (joined a gym), joined a basketball team and is cooking more of his own food instead of always fast food.

There is hope for your son, too - and hopefully he will find his way to health sooner than later!! While he's living under your roof, it's your rules....

Stay strong and vent here whenever you want!

Very Happy

All we are saying is "Give Peas a Chance"

RE: Family :-/
Posted Thursday, February 11, 2010 at 9:28 PM

removing some archived posts

Edited 02/26/10 6:56 AM
RE: Family :-/
Posted Friday, February 12, 2010 at 1:12 PM

It's comforting to know if you have concerns and there is no one to vent to, there is always someone here to help you thru it. You guys are a great support group. Sometimes it's not easy being vegan. Txgirl hang in there. Once your all slim, heathy and happy, your family may want to be just like you.

RE: Family :-/
Posted Friday, February 12, 2010 at 7:25 PM

Thanks everyone for the sympathetic words. Things really aren't as bad as they used to be but sometimes old feelings and frustrations well up and I just needed to get it off my chest.

I had my son kinda young and it was a long time before I was able to 100% provide on my own. If I would have known then what I know now, I would have packed up and gone to an out of state college but I didn't think it was possible as a single mother. I complain about over-involvement from my mom, but I also sometimes still rely on her for help (like picking him up from school).

I think the stress has just been building up lately and I needed to let out some steam and make a whiny post before heading over to her house for my son's birthday dinner.

I really do appreciate all of the sympathetic words and good advice. I do need to put my foot down a little bit more, be a better example, and the bleak economy might take care of the rest... (no steak for you!)

Edited 03/02/10 3:00 PM
RE: Family :-/
Posted Saturday, February 13, 2010 at 12:04 PM

I'm sorry it is all so hard. But you sound very strong, so keep up the good work. Laughing You said your son is a teenager, maybe soon he will be interested in health and working out.....girls will do that to guys! Anyway, you will be such a good example for him.

I'm the only veg here, I'm in TX also. Not a very frindly place if you don't eat meat! My family thinks I'm nuts. I have a hard time leaving the sugar and junk a lone. So I'm not a good example like so many are here.

Keep us posted. We are all here for you!

RE: Family :-/
Posted Tuesday, February 16, 2010 at 2:21 PM

Just a comment on other people bringing things into your house- you don't have to argue or even say anything- put it in a bag and hand it to them when they leave with a smile or throw it in the garbage in front of them- they'll get the message it is not gonna stay- you can't control anything outside of your house and you don't have to fight or argue but let them know on no terms will you keep the food in your house (regardless if they bring it or not) if your mom says you need it, don't waste my money, etc say nothing smile and hand her the bag. I have no problem doing that with people who try to force things on me- where I get into trouble is when I am hungry and the cake looks good at someone elses house- lol. We all have our weakness all we can do is keep trying different things- good luck

RE: Family :-/
Posted Tuesday, February 16, 2010 at 11:04 PM

Good point Junebug. I make the rules in my house. I try to be a good hostess, I want you to feel welcome. But don't come bringing dead animals and expect me to put it on my table! LOL !

Vikki ~ Wild4Stars@gmail.com

RE: Family :-/
Posted Sunday, February 28, 2010 at 6:28 PM

I know all about Texans and the attitude towards vegetarians, got a whole family full. Yes, it's a bore. What might help is some 'manly' propaganda in plain sight. Get a couple of books (The Thrive Diet, written by a triathlete, and the Firehouse Diet (?) written by a rather studly fire dude - keep the slipcover on the front, yes, they are manly Wink), and put them on display where EVERYONE will see them. They both advocate a vegan diet, and from what I can see, the firehouse one has some really yummy recipes. Get a list of famous vegetarians (hopefully some major athletes and country singers in there Smile) and drop some names when someone says something snarky about your choices ("well, if it's good enough for ______, it's good enough for me").

best thing, as suggested before, is to be a quiet, healthy good example. I really like the idea of passing the food back to the bringer, as though they were taking home their own leftovers ("oh you forgot this. Oh, you didn't know? I don't eat animal products, thanks for the offer, though"). Say it again and again as though they never heard it before - they'll get tired of hearing it. Be gentle, but firm. If they still refuse to take it, smile, say 'that's fine' and toss it when they leave.

RE: Family :-/
Posted Saturday, March 6, 2010 at 11:07 AM

I love the last cpl of posts! I live in the middle of So CA’s dairy lands, my in-laws own a set of restaurants that serve down home country cookin’ and I literally cannot eat ANYTHING other than oatmeal (and even that I need to get in the kitchen b/c we cook it w/milk. Well I guess I could have a ‘salad’ but we use iceberg lettuce…mmmm, nummy! I am truly in hostile territory down here! LOL! But it is kinda fun to be the bigger person and to let the arrows fall to the floor around me. I am the one that feels great, I am healthy, strong, and happy and that is all that matters.

I can’t change the world around me by telling them all what to do, but I can set an example and acknowledge and congratulate others when they make better choices.

Heidi

Heidi


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