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| Forums: March 2010 Kickstart Forum Archive: Mixed marriage | |||
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eejmom
 Location: Inverness, IL Posts: 7 |
Mixed marriage Posted Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 8:09 PM Hi, i am not totally new to being vegan - my husband and I ate that way 3 years ago for over one year to lose weight, through Dr McDougall. All went well for awhile. In a nutshell, my husband and I have regained the weight and he is now doing Atkins. And I have reverted to my old ways. I will do the 21-day challenge. But I don't know if I can do it alone. I can't purge my pantry and refrigerator as they suggest, since my husband's food is in there. As a side note, I will say my husband has lost 35 pounds since 12/15/09. He needed to lose 100 pounds total. He visited his primary care physician 2/15/10 and found he had lowered his total cholesterol, triglicerides and blood pressure. Time will tell about the rest of it once he goes on Atkins maintenance. I'd like to think the lowered values might have been the weight loss, but like I say, time will tell. I am perfectly willing to handle and cook meat for him - I would expect that he would respect my diet the same way - he cooks for both of us sometimes. Is there anyone who has the same dietary concerns? Perhaps we could lift each other up? |
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| TJGayton
Joined: 02/26/10 Posts: 9 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Friday, February 26, 2010 at 2:26 AM I live with my father. He is 77 and gave a dramatic performance to show how horrible he thought my tahini dressing tasted last night. I didn't think it was funny at all. I enjoyed my salad with tahini dressing. I guess it is an aquired taste. Mom passed away of breast, lung and bone cancer in May 25, 2001. Dad has lived through colon cancer and had lots of his colon removed, Pancreatic cancer, skin cancer, Angina, elder onset diabetes, and more. He is on numerous pills. He takes pills for his pills. He argues that he is a carnivore. I tell him he may be since his operation left him with the colon of a carnivore. Anyway, I have a house full of meat, MSG, sodas, fat free, sugar free, food like substances. Luckily for me he eats out about 4 or 5 nights a week. I try to have ready to eat foods for me. Carrots, celery with Tahini dressing It is a pain to cook for two when the diets are polar opposites. I look forward to "chatting" with you. Let's do this! |
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| veveveveggie
Joined: 12/28/09 Posts: 114 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Friday, February 26, 2010 at 8:10 AM I'm not sure what it is with men. They don't generally seem motivated to understand nutrition the way women are. Statistically, this doesn't seem to work well for them. When they make small changes they think they have shifted the ground under their feet. My husband use to think Cheez Whiz was food. Maybe he has come a long way!
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| loopylou711
Joined: 01/12/10 Location: scotland Posts: 9 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Friday, February 26, 2010 at 10:38 AM the magic thing about the 21 vegan kick start is that your not alone!! for 21 days their recipes to enjoy making, their celebs keeping you motivated and theres the support from other people here who will give u support and help as you need it! My bf is a meat eater and its hard cos he never understands why i am vegan!! Just go for it! If you eat something which is non vegan don't stress as tommorow is always a new day!! Remember though everyone here will always try to help! I joined spark people and thats good for helping too!! |
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| crowgirl
Joined: 02/26/10 Posts: 10 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Friday, February 26, 2010 at 10:44 AM Hello People, As for hubby, he is fairly easygoing when it comes to food. His thought is the meat he does eat is at least free of hormones, antibiotics, etc., and not factory farmed. I cannot argue that point, so I let him have his way. In the summer when the garden is full bloom, he is just as goofy-happy as I am to eat fresh beans, snap peas, lettuce,and the other fun stuff that pops up. I have tried the veg lifestyle in the past .. no, I have tried the carb lifestyle in the past and have had a not so great experience. I feel much more informed now and look forward to this adventure. Here's to the ones who prep food they will not eat! I for one got your back. |
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| greenthumb
Joined: 02/26/10 Posts: 4 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Friday, February 26, 2010 at 11:45 AM Hi everyone, eejmom I understand your dietary concerns, it seems like my household is a never-ending smorgasbord of sorts. I'm constantly trying to keep everyone's dietary needs in check. I definitely agree with loopylou and crowgirl, we can do this together. |
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| eejmom
Location: Inverness, IL Posts: 7 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Friday, February 26, 2010 at 3:05 PM Thanks so much everyone. I have been getting my husband's meat hormone and antibiotic-free as much as possible, since he has a family history of prostate cancer. No hormones for my guy! We also get our veggies and fruits from a CSA in the summer and fall. I can't believe the difference in the taste and freshness of the food compared to store bought. I'm really revved up about this now. I truly appreciate knowing I have all this support! |
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| wen24
Joined: 02/26/10 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 6 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Friday, February 26, 2010 at 8:13 PM I feel your pain! My husband eats everything and I have two young children who like snacks in the house. This would be much easier if you could clean out the pantry but that is not reality for me either. Let's all hang in together and remember try to remember how good our bodies can feel when we follow this lifestyle! |
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| crowgirl
Joined: 02/26/10 Posts: 10 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Friday, February 26, 2010 at 9:02 PM COnsider it a way to be ultimate role models. When the rest of the family is trying to keep up with us in a few weeks, they might want to give it a try! PS- so glad they have the menu up finally. I like to plan my shopping trip for Monday. Score! |
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2meowers
 Location: Sequim, WA Posts: 127 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Friday, February 26, 2010 at 9:02 PM For TJGayton: Similar situation in my house, but easier because hubby and I are on different schedules and don't share too many dinners. Obviously there are common things in the fridge like spinach, juice, and veggies. The salad dressings we use are Paul Newman's Light Italian and Sesame Ginger. Hubby has his own bottle of Caesar, I have Spectrum's Vegan Caesar. I have Silk soy milk, he has half and half (for coffee) and milk; his cheese, my "cheese"; my tofu and "meats", his bacon, chicken, and deli meats; my hummus, his mayo... and so on. While he thinks I'm nuts, just another OCD so to speak, he respects my choice. His bacon, eggs, hamburger, etc. cooking no longer bothers me. My brain just ignores his stuff. Just not on my radar anymore. Certainly anyone that has to prepare meals for a household that wants non-vegan or vegetarian items deserves a gold star in my book! Perhaps you could sit down with dad and plan menus for a few days at a time. Find what parts of a meal are common and double the prep. Divide the salad in two and each adds whatever dressing. He wants butter on his veggies or toast? I'll bet he couldn't tell the difference if you used Earth Balance - unless he read the container (hide in the back of the fridge!). You CAN do this! I think the hardest thing you will have to deal with is dad's negativity. You just need to play deaf to the comments or just say "thanks, dad". I'm betting he'll get tired of criticizing so much after a couple of weeks when he realizes he can't upset you and your new lifestyle doesn't change - AND doesn't affect his! Best of luck - we're here for you!! "But for the sake of some little mouthful of flesh we deprive a soul of the sun and light, and of that proportion of life and time it had been born into the world to enjoy." Plutarch. |
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| TJGayton
Joined: 02/26/10 Posts: 9 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Saturday, February 27, 2010 at 2:16 AM 2meowers, funny you mentioned Earth Balance. I introduced that to him about a year ago and he still uses it today. He has make some positive changes. I am going to suggest that the days he eats at home I will prepare vegan foods and he can eat meat when he goes out or can cook it himself. He likes some of my vegan dishes . . . as long as I don't call them vegan. I started watching an interesting series on You Tube. It is "Jamie Oliver Eat to Save Your Life". It is graphic so be prepared. There are 8 parts and in one they autopsy an obese man who actually ate himself to death. There are some gross things but I need to be aware. I don't think it is vegan specific but I want to go vegan after seeing what I have seen so far. Thanks to everyone for all the posts. |
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| veveveveggie
Joined: 12/28/09 Posts: 114 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Saturday, February 27, 2010 at 8:24 AM I don't cook meat for anyone. I've always hated it on my hands anyway, but now I don't touch it. My husband doesn't eat meat at home generally. He just gripes about my cooking the same as he always has! Jean |
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| crowgirl
Joined: 02/26/10 Posts: 10 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Saturday, February 27, 2010 at 8:35 AM I have the great fortune of having a mother in law who did not cook well. We have a son in his 20's now and while he has his own little apartment downstairs, he still eats dinner with us when he is home. But he is a junk food junkie and I think he didn't worry about it too much until he tried to go snowboarding and ran out of energy. This year, he actually brought some dried fruit bits to store in his snowpants, and has a box of oatmeal (albeit instant) in his place for a quick breakfast. When he came home one night, I asked if he had anything to eat (it's a mother thing; I can't shake it!) he told me he had a salad with his dinner instead of a cheeseburger and fries. I think this may actually be sinking in after all these years!! peace, |
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Wild4Stars
 Location: Florida Posts: 832 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Saturday, February 27, 2010 at 9:39 AM Mixed marriages must be pretty popular. My husband is on drugs for high blood pressure and cholesterol, loves meat and his junk. I cook chicken for him and his parents once a week. He has eggs for breakfast weekends only, other than that he pretty much eats what I eat, at least at home. His lunches and when we go out are of course meat centered. His cardiologist wanted him on a very low fat, vegetarian diet, recommended Dean Ornish's program. He tried it for about 2 months and I think that helped, he does eat better than he use to. But I doubt he'll ever be totally vegetarian. He is however very supportive of me, even brags to people that I'm a vegan. When we go to his family's for holidays he always reminds them that I don't eat meat. Vegan is new, but they are all very aware that I don't eat meat. Maybe someday he'll try it again, but right now, he's in the kitchen fixing his eggs for breakfast! Vikki ~ Wild4Stars@gmail.com |
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| TJGayton
Joined: 02/26/10 Posts: 9 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Saturday, February 27, 2010 at 1:15 PM Your posts help me very much! Thank you all! |
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| essie
Joined: 02/26/10 Posts: 163 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Saturday, February 27, 2010 at 4:06 PM My husband didn't go vegan at the same time I did, but it didn't take that long. He ate fish for a while when we went out, but then I think everything I was telling him about my reading started sinking in and he just stopped, not making a big deal about it. He's as into it as I am now, and kind of proud of himself. Over the last few years he's lost 75 lbs. (HOT, I gotta say.) We joined a CSA and he got all into learning about the crop rotations and organic farming methods--he even started a compost pile in the backyard for me. I encourage him to choose new recipes when I get a cookbook--he especially likes casseroles and stews--hearty stuff. He doesn't cook, but I taught him how to make tofu scrambles and smoothies and tempeh tacos--so he now thinks he can! I always tell him his (frozen Amy's) veggie burgers are the best I've ever eaten. What I'm suggesting I guess is to find your guy an angle. If he needs a "manly" way to participate and get interested, maybe something like those things will work. And be sure to tell him a vegan diet protects him against balding, impotence, and prostate cancer! The Engine 2 Diet by Rip Esselstyn is a great book for guys. He's a Texan firefighter, former collegiate swimmer, and triathlete! The recipes are very guy friendly too, mostly developed by Rip and his fellow firefighters. They made a competition out of lowering their cholesterol. Maybe your husbands and their buddies could make bets or compete for a prize. Good luck! |
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| eejmom
Location: Inverness, IL Posts: 7 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Saturday, February 27, 2010 at 5:26 PM It's so heartening to hear everyone's mixed marriage stories, especially when there is so much respect and caring between partners (and fathers & daughters)! We haven't even started and already I have a dilemma. 3/5 we are going to the opening of my niece's art showing in Milwaukee - a lot of family members will attend. Afterward, we are going to a favorite restaurant nearby, one we haven't been to in years. The menu is beyond carnivorous. All of the appetizers are based on meat and/or fish, except the "4 cheese tasting" - I think that's supposed to satisfy the meatless crew. One soup is French onion (even without the cheese it's still beef stock). The other is "creamy" mushroom soup. The house salad is okay, it has no meat or cheese and a rice wine vinaigrette. There are no entree options for me - they are red meat, fish, duck or chicken. No pasta anywhere on the menu. I consider this a great challenge and learning experience. My thought is to order something that has the best sides for me, and have the meat boxed up ahead of time, so I can give it to my husband the next day. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. |
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| Wild4Stars
Location: Florida Posts: 832 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Saturday, February 27, 2010 at 6:06 PM I often order only "sides" and sometimes there aren't even enough sides. I always carry my own salad dressing. Worse case scenario you can order a salad and be sure to tell them no cheese. Get a plain baked potato and use your salad dressing on both. May not be the MOST appetizing meal you have ever eaten, but it's vegan and you are there for the socializing. Hope that helps! Vikki ~ Wild4Stars@gmail.com |
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| eejmom
Location: Inverness, IL Posts: 7 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Saturday, February 27, 2010 at 7:00 PM Isn't it funny how most of our socializing revolves around food? Anyway, you are so right, I'm not there for the food. Thanks for the help. |
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craftycat70
 Location: Southern California Posts: 139 |
RE: Mixed marriage Posted Saturday, February 27, 2010 at 7:47 PM eejmom
Is there anyone who has the same dietary concerns? Perhaps we could lift each other up? You are definitely not "alone". My DH has had cancer/chemotherapy and has high cholesteral & he still wants to eat whatever he wants. Suprisingly, he has been pretty receptive to many of the recipes I've made for our meals. I did the vegan diet on my own for 7 months very strictly 9 years ago. Was just diagnosed with Lupus last April. I fully believe that had I stayed on it my health would not have gotten so bad these past few years! It is just me and my DH living at home now. I told him if he wants meat he can cook it or eat it at lunch, restaurants etc. Made up my mind that I was not going to cook it this time. Maybe once in awhile if we have company. I'm finally going to listen to my doctors and start taking care of "myself" for a change. I've always been the family caretaker and the one everyone comes to with problems etc. Won't be good for anyone if I don't work on my own health! Decided New Year's that this is "my" year to get my health back. I will be "58" in April and luckily right now most people don't think I'm the age I am. I don't want to live the way I've been feeling the past couple of years. Started with the January Kickstart and for the first time in a few years I have begun to feel some "energy". It gave me the incentive and support I needed to get going again. I had tried a few times on my own. The scale doesn't seem to be moving much for me, but I'm fitting into clothes I hadn't been able to get into for awhile. So, guess the fat is starting to melt away and I'm losing "inches". The past week I decided I could now thank God for the Lupus diagnosis.....for it was the "wake-up" call I needed to get back to the vegan plan. I plan on winning the DH and family by being an "example". He was already amazed at my cholesterol results, after just 4 weeks on vegan plan. My uncle was diabetic and went on the Atkins diet a couple of different times. He ended up with kidney failure, which he wife felt was aggravated by the Atkins diet. I tried to get him to read Dr. Barnards, or Dr. McDougall's books etc., but he loved his "meat" too much. He passed away at age 69 last year with liver/kidney and pancreatic cancer. Hope your husband will eventually get back on board with you. Craftycat - Southern, CA |
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, and fruits are great to grab when I'm hungry and can't make a meal fast enough. 
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