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| Forums: September 2010 Kickstart Forum Archive: "Do you eat fish?" and a rant | |||
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| legnerk
Joined: 09/14/10 Posts: 34 |
"Do you eat fish?" and a rant Posted Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 10:40 AM Just out of curiosity, how often do you all receive this question after telling someone you are vegetarian/ vegan? I seem to get it easily 50-75% of the time (often followed by overly-critical questions over how I get my protein, calcium, etc.). As a side rant: Why do people even feel the need to lecture you on your choice of food anyway? It's like people want to attack what they aren't familiar with. Not to mention, the people typically soliciting their "advice" (or their protest to your diet) aren't even all that healthy anyway. Also, I'm' a really great cook, and it astounds me how people will refuse to come over for dinner or try a moist, delicious vegan cake (my birthday), all because they know it's vegan... When they haven't even tried it! All vegans/ vegetarians aren't these mal-nutritioned, pale weirdos. So odd how people act sometimes. Phew, ok, I'm done. |
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| Shadowheart
Joined: 09/05/10 Posts: 83 |
RE: "Do you eat fish?" and a rant Posted Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 10:51 AM Care to share your vegan birthday cake recipe? My daughters birthday is coming up and I'm looking for one! I just started this way of eating, so no one really knows yet. I have been wondering what to do about Holiday meals however... |
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Wild4Stars
 Location: Florida Posts: 832 |
RE: "Do you eat fish?" and a rant Posted Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 10:53 AM I was just told yesterday that fish is not meat. She felt that she was eating healthy, like me, because she only eats chicken and fish. NOT MEAT. So I often just say that I don't eat animals or anything that comes from an animal. I think it's easier, people have a mental picture of an animal. Fish and birds are definitely animals. It is amazing to me that people feel free to offer their opinions about how I eat. I NEVER say anything to others about what they eat, unless asked of course. I have a family member who has made the comment, "She's too good to eat what normal people like the rest of us eat." ?? Where would that come from? I've learned to smile and ignore. It's nice that we have this forum for our occasional RANTS !! Vikki ~ Wild4Stars@gmail.com |
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| legnerk
Joined: 09/14/10 Posts: 34 |
RE: "Do you eat fish?" and a rant Posted Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 10:53 AM Shadowheart wrote: Care to share your vegan birthday cake recipe? My daughters birthday is coming up and I'm looking for one! I just started this way of eating, so no one really knows yet. I have been wondering what to do about Holiday meals however... Well, a friend actually surprised me with it before everyone started refusing to eat it, lol. It's REALLY delicious, though - all chocolately and moist! I'll check with her to see if she has the recipe to share. Yeah, I'm a little concerned about holidays, too. I don't want to be difficult with other family members, but it's really surprising how much people will expect you to just "suck it up" and eat something non-vegetarian (chicken, fish) or non-vegan (cheese, mayo, etc.). Check out The Kind Life (Alicia Silverstone) - she has a whole section on Thanksgiving. I hope that helps! |
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| legnerk
Joined: 09/14/10 Posts: 34 |
RE: "Do you eat fish?" and a rant Posted Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 10:59 AM Wild4Stars wrote: I was just told yesterday that fish is not meat. She felt that she was eating healthy, like me, because she only eats chicken and fish. NOT MEAT. So I often just say that I don't eat animals or anything that comes from an animal. I think it's easier, people have a mental picture of an animal. Fish and birds are definitely animals. It is amazing to me that people feel free to offer their opinions about how I eat. I NEVER say anything to others about what they eat, unless asked of course. I have a family member who has made the comment, "She's too good to eat what normal people like the rest of us eat." ?? Where would that come from? I've learned to smile and ignore. It's nice that we have this forum for our occasional RANTS !! LOL, no kidding! What's crazy, too, is that I'm definitely the type of person who's willing to find a compromise, but people are just so rude and stubborn at times. You know what's ironic? If you started giving them hell for what they eat and talking about the suffering of the pig they're eating, they'd act like you were talking down to them. Sometimes it seems like a lose-lose situation, right? And I 100% agree - Chicken and fish ARE animals, and people need to understand we are not depriving ourselves, but actually trying to IMPROVE ourselves. *sigh* I just don't understand why people feel the need to attack a lifestyle choice that in no way affects them... Or, moreso, why they'll do whatever it takes to tear it down. Just weird. I'm worried about Christmas at my fiance's parents... 40 people there, and there probably won't be much for me to eat. Should I suck it up? |
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cch22
 Location: New York State Posts: 1000 |
RE: "Do you eat fish?" and a rant Posted Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 11:03 AM hummm i am still thinking about scallops maybe even in a cream sauce w/veggies on a special occasion & very infrequently.. like once every 3 months or something.. for now NOPE. no meat either. No beef, pork, chicken or fish or by products that i know of. right now i am facing 3 things.. my birthday tomorrow.. my husband says he will take me anywhere i want to go... i might try the vegan place in Saratoga Springs.. it's like a buffet.. but all vegan.. It is a very popular place... buffet style. It would be interesting to try the food. The second thing is we are going out of town for the weekend to see his daughter. I am thinking been tacos & burritos. ONE day we are going to Bush Gardens.. I am stumped. Perhaps an apple and a couple of protein bars.. dunno. Then i will consider the holidays.. One good note.. Rite Aid had a candy i eat at holidays .. Almond Roca.. Little candies of coconut and almonds.. It was on sale yesterday.. i went in.. thinking I would pick one up and save it till the holidays as a treat. I read the ingredients.. and put it right back on the shelf.. and felt good doing it. I thought if i watch my diet till the holidays there is no way on gods green earth that i will put that in my mouth! |
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| Wild4Stars
Location: Florida Posts: 832 |
RE: "Do you eat fish?" and a rant Posted Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 11:04 AM I wouldn't "suck it up" for Christmas. I would take a dish or two, something you can eat and enough to share. Explain to the host that for health reasons you have some eating restrictions and "hope you don't mind that I have brought some additions to the meal." Or depending on how well you know them, just have a conversation in advance. I'm really lucky, my hubby is SO good about reminding his family about my diet. Actually his family is better than mine. This will be the first year that I'll be vegan (vegetarian since 2000), but I don't anticipate any problems. Vikki ~ Wild4Stars@gmail.com |
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| legnerk
Joined: 09/14/10 Posts: 34 |
RE: "Do you eat fish?" and a rant Posted Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 11:05 AM cch22 wrote: hummm i am still thinking about scallops maybe even in a cream sauce w/veggies on a special occasion & very infrequently.. like once every 3 months or something.. for now NOPE. no meat either. No beef, pork, chicken or fish or by products that i know of. right now i am facing 3 things.. my birthday tomorrow.. my husband says he will take me anywhere i want to go... i might try the vegan place in Saratoga Springs.. it's like a buffet.. but all vegan.. It is a very popular place... buffet style. It would be interesting to try the food. The second thing is we are going out of town for the weekend to see his daughter. I am thinking been tacos & burritos. ONE day we are going to Bush Gardens.. I am stumped. Perhaps an apple and a couple of protein bars.. dunno. Then i will consider the holidays.. One good note.. Rite Aid had a candy i eat at holidays .. Almond Roca.. Little candies of coconut and almonds.. It was on sale yesterday.. i went in.. thinking I would pick one up and save it till the holidays as a treat. I read the ingredients.. and put it right back on the shelf.. and felt good doing it. I thought if i watch my diet till the holidays there is no way on gods green earth that i will put that in my mouth! That's awesome! Good for you for putting it back. I think the key to eating is to remember: how will I feel an hour after eating this? I don't know about all of you, but the moment I eat cheese, my stomach bloats as if I just put away a Big Mac from McDonalds. Enjoy your birthday, but always remember what you'll feel best about doing. There's nothing wrong with splurging - I know I'm guilty of it (especially if there are crab legs with butter for dipping within reaching distance...). <3 |
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| legnerk
Joined: 09/14/10 Posts: 34 |
RE: "Do you eat fish?" and a rant Posted Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 11:08 AM Wild4Stars wrote: I wouldn't "suck it up" for Christmas. I would take a dish or two, something you can eat and enough to share. Explain to the host that for health reasons you have some eating restrictions and "hope you don't mind that I have brought some additions to the meal." Or depending on how well you know them, just have a conversation in advance. I'm really lucky, my hubby is SO good about reminding his family about my diet. Actually his family is better than mine. This will be the first year that I'll be vegan (vegetarian since 2000), but I don't anticipate any problems. That's great! Are you going to stay vegan throughout the entire holiday? I'd love to bring a dish, but we are driving 12 hours to Toledo to stay with his family, and I believe it's a pot-luck sort of deal. Oh, and because they are such a close-knit family, they find it OFFENSIVE if you don't eat the food they serve... To the point where even the adults can't open their gifts if they don't eat certain foods. Weird, right? lol |
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rachel
 Posts: 9 |
RE: "Do you eat fish?" and a rant Posted Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 11:19 AM legnerk wrote: [quote="Wild4Stars"]Oh, and because they are such a close-knit family, they find it OFFENSIVE if you don't eat the food they serve... To the point where even the adults can't open their gifts if they don't eat certain foods. I think if I were in your situation, I would find *their* behavior offensive. |
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| Wild4Stars
Location: Florida Posts: 832 |
RE: "Do you eat fish?" and a rant Posted Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 11:22 AM To the best of my ability I will stay vegan over the holidays. I do know that if I'm eating someone else's cooking there could be some hidden something that they don't own up to. I consider myself 100% vegan when I'm 100% in control. Otherwise 99% !! I think I would let them keep their gifts! Maybe you should start the conversation now about your health requirements. And the truth is - this is a Doctor recommended eating plan. When you mention a Doctor's orders, people generally listen. Why would a doctor have you eating this way if there wasn't some reason? They'll believe it if a doctor said it!! That way it seems like it's more than just your "choice," you really have to eat this way. Vikki ~ Wild4Stars@gmail.com |
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Oceandog
 Location: California, USA Posts: 642 |
RE: "Do you eat fish?" and a rant Posted Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 11:22 AM I have experienced much of what has been said here over the 20 years I have been doing this. First of all, most people attack what they are unfamiliar with. Most also have the mistaken notion that if you are doing something different than they are, that it makes one of you wrong. Hence, the attack. Ignoring the nasty comments is the best way. If you "fight back" you instantly become the bad guy and a "pushy vegetarian that thinks they know everything" or something along those lines. I listen politely, then I simply tell them that I try to live my life where I don't cause any harm to any being around me, verbally nor physically. That I try to appreciate the differences in people and allow them to make the best decisions they can for their bodies and their journey in this life, just as I do for my own. This will frequently set off a new rant...but I have said my piece (peace? I also frequently bring food with me that I can eat and just let them know I love to help. End of that story. As far as the no gift without eating their food? No worries for me. I would gently tell them that my gift is to spend time with my family and friends and don't wish to put conditions on that time. Then I would eat what I knew to be best for my health, animals and the planet. Then I could sit back and watch them open their presents, observe their joy in things they will most likely forget they have in a few weeks and be grateful I am not carting MORE stuff home that I now have to take care of or find space for. But then I am an odd duck like this! Good luck to you all. Always offer kindness and a soft word to the beings around you; You do not know their journey. Your words can be the hug they need or the shove that breaks them. |
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| Wild4Stars
Location: Florida Posts: 832 |
RE: "Do you eat fish?" and a rant Posted Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 11:30 AM Holding your gifts hostage so you'll eat what they want you too? Are you sure you even want to go? I agree with OCEANDOG, "just being with family is gift enough, thank you." There could be some people in the family that will be SO GLAD to have someone in the group that won't bow to the dictatorship they'll embrace you with loving arms!! Vikki ~ Wild4Stars@gmail.com |
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| legnerk
Joined: 09/14/10 Posts: 34 |
RE: "Do you eat fish?" and a rant Posted Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 11:33 AM Great ideas!!! I really appreciate the support. I just moreso don't want to offend my future in-laws, lol. They're already very, uh, unique. It's the people who seem genuinely interested in understanding veganism who I really enjoy. They don't understand it, so they make an effort to. I LOVE encouraging people like that and I always let them know that I recognize it's a personal choice and don't feel the need to force it on others. Even my fiance is an omnivore (although I'm convinced that he is slowly, but surely becoming a veg, lol). I think with some folks we are just damned if we do, damned if we don't. If we don't eat the food they do, we are "pretentious" or "holier than thou"; if we do, we sacrifice our own lifestyle. This sums up how I feel: |
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| legnerk
Joined: 09/14/10 Posts: 34 |
RE: "Do you eat fish?" and a rant Posted Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 11:36 AM P.S. - @Wild4Stars: I LOVE the quote you have about food labels!!! |
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| Faithella
Joined: 01/04/10 Posts: 23 |
RE: "Do you eat fish?" and a rant Posted Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 11:43 AM I am always amazed at the look I get when I say anything about how others eat: "do you think it is okay to drink the milk of another species even though we are the only species that ever thought of that"..."do you know that is a dead thing you are eating" and so on. Now I have to say it takes a lot of harassment to get me to swing back, but i have been known to say it. I want my grandchildren to know when they are eating vegan with out knowing it but I wait until they are done enjoying the cake or pie and then tell then. I have a friend who is a "fish vegetarian"; even when I was a meat eater I knew fish was meat. I do have one final rant that was not really included here but is the same issue: I am the only vegan in my family, there is a neice living about 500 miles away but I still cook for my house and I have not taken the hard line of refusing to cook meat or have it in the house. It is like being torn in half, I do go to a CSA farm and avoid the factory farm products but this has to be the biggest stumbling block I have to live totally vegan. Is there anyone else in this situation? |
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| legnerk
Joined: 09/14/10 Posts: 34 |
RE: "Do you eat fish?" and a rant Posted Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 11:48 AM Faithella wrote: I am always amazed at the look I get when I say anything about how others eat: "do you think it is okay to drink the milk of another species even though we are the only species that ever thought of that"..."do you know that is a dead thing you are eating" and so on. Now I have to say it takes a lot of harassment to get me to swing back, but i have been known to say it. I want my grandchildren to know when they are eating vegan with out knowing it but I wait until they are done enjoying the cake or pie and then tell then. I have a friend who is a "fish vegetarian"; even when I was a meat eater I knew fish was meat. I do have one final rant that was not really included here but is the same issue: I am the only vegan in my family, there is a neice living about 500 miles away but I still cook for my house and I have not taken the hard line of refusing to cook meat or have it in the house. It is like being torn in half, I do go to a CSA farm and avoid the factory farm products but this has to be the biggest stumbling block I have to live totally vegan. Is there anyone else in this situation? Yep, I'm in the same situation! My fiance and I live together, and he's 100% resistant to giving up meat. Don't get me wrong, he's incredibly supportive of my decisions/ cooking and will eat when I cook; but when he wants a steak or some chicken wings, he'll attack them like he's never eaten before. We both have very different tastes in foods (generally speaking, not just in regard to being veg/ not veg), so it works out. But, yes, it can be kind of stressful, especially if there IS yummy cheese or processed foods in the house. That seems to be my downfall... when he buys chips and salsa, ice cream, cheese, or even shrimp. How old are the people you live with? Are they capable of cooking for themselves? If so, I say just have them take care of the food they want to eat. If not, I think it'd be smart to compromise and just allow them to eat what they want (while sneaking in tons of vegan goodies as much as possible!). You definitely want them to find being vegan a positive thing, not some strict regimine that they'll hate and feel the need to hide their fast food burgers. |
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| legnerk
Joined: 09/14/10 Posts: 34 |
RE: "Do you eat fish?" and a rant Posted Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 11:50 AM rachel wrote: legnerk wrote: [quote="Wild4Stars"]Oh, and because they are such a close-knit family, they find it OFFENSIVE if you don't eat the food they serve... To the point where even the adults can't open their gifts if they don't eat certain foods. I think if I were in your situation, I would find *their* behavior offensive. Haha, Rachel, I totally agree! If only food was where their offensive attitudes stopped. |
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| cch22
Location: New York State Posts: 1000 |
RE: "Do you eat fish?" and a rant Posted Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 11:51 AM HUMM... I hear the word offensive.. what i didn't hear is respectful. I am blown away that even if people don't agree, they could at least be respectful of your personal choices. Although i do remember making dishes for my new in-laws (meat eaters) and them not eating it. It was frustrating. I spent a lot of time thinking of what they would like, sometimes calling to confirm likes & dislikes, shopping, cooking, and then for whatever reason they would not eat it or much of it. I wanted my guests to feel warm and welcome in my home. In some way i felt like I failed when they did not eat much of my food. I guess I felt like they were not sure what kind of cook i am. THey see a clean house, but don't know if i would double dip, watch cross contamination, wash hands frequently, cook things fully, wash all utilsils & pans in hot water.. I do all these things everyday.. not just for get togethers.. so i made these things out of love.. but left feeling frustrated. It has gotten better since the begining. Anyway maybe that conversation helps a little for the vegans who get grief? It might be other issues other than you being vegan. They don't even let the meat eaters open presents.. |
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| Bugsmom
Joined: 09/13/10 Posts: 2072 |
RE: "Do you eat fish?" and a rant Posted Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 11:52 AM legnerk wrote: [quote="Wild4Stars"]I'm worried about Christmas at my fiance's parents... 40 people there, and there probably won't be much for me to eat. Should I suck it up? Bring something with you. We always bring a dish of something that I know I can eat that is hearty enough to be a whole meal, and then fill in bits and pieces with what's there. For instance, I might add some salad or crudite, maybe a small handful of nuts, etc. We'll sometimes bring something like hummus and crackers, or a tuscan bean salad, or something like that - protein, fiber, etc. I can pile up with the items we bring and have little tasting bites of whatever looks okay. --Deb |
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