Forums: September 2011 Kickstart Forum: getting teased!
Created on: 09/05/11 10:51 AM Views: 3974 Replies: 31
jagerue Joined: 09/05/11 Posts: 3	getting teased! Posted Monday, September 5, 2011 at 10:51 AM With the holiday weekend there are lots of barbeques I am invited to. Last night was a doozie. Rib cookoff and all. I brought veggie burgers. Whole table was cutting up and joking about tofu like they didn't even know how to say it. Then making jokes about a remark of methane gas "just bringing it home" comparing cows to people on a veggie diet. Alas, today is another pork fest at my parents house. There's some real wise-guy macho types going to be there so here we go again! Any advice or "come backs" anyone can offer? If I respond too seriously they will just say "lighten up we are just joking". I am tired of being ridiculed and laughed at. These are mature adults I am talking about. Not kids. I am 49.
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Dobby Joined: 09/04/10 Posts: 113	RE: getting teased! Posted Monday, September 5, 2011 at 11:28 AM -*Did you want me to go ahead and pencil you in for me to take care of you when you have your first heart attack?* -*Gosh, why does my way of eating make you feel so insecure and threatened?* -*I'm getting up the nerve to train for a triathlon like Rip Esselstyn or Brendan Brazier so I thought it would help if I started eating like they do.* Jagerue, you've got me on a roll!! (whole wheat of course!) Pam
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Dobby Joined: 09/04/10 Posts: 113	RE: getting teased! Posted Monday, September 5, 2011 at 12:00 PM *Hey wait....(holding up a finger)What's that sound??...Oh,It's the sound of your arteries slamming shut.* Pam
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petittarte Joined: 09/03/11 Posts: 4	RE: getting teased! Posted Monday, September 5, 2011 at 12:01 PM I feel you Jagerue. Not a single one of my friends or family is vegetarian let alone vegan which makes socializing very hard sometimes.
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Wild4Stars Joined: 12/27/09 Location: Florida Posts: 832	RE: getting teased! Posted Monday, September 5, 2011 at 12:04 PM "I used to eat meat, now I know better." "I don't care what you eat, why do you care what I eat?" "I'm eating this way based on Doctor recommendations." ~~ Acutally several Doctors, Ornish, Esselstyn, Campbell, Furhman, McDougall, Barnard, the list goes on, and getting longer all the time. I had a family member say to another family member in my presence, "She thinks she's too good to eat like normal people." Both people in this conversation morbidly obese, well over 300 pounds. I don't know why, but something clicked in me in that moment. It has never bothered me since. What they say, what they think, is their issue, not mine. I answer questions when they are posed in an "I'd like knowledge" form, other than that anything else people have to say I just let it go. I avoid using the term vegan unless I'm specifially asked if I'm vegan. I think some aggressive, militant vegans have given the name a bad rap. Many vegans are very critical of other diets and show it. I simply say I eat a plant based diet. I put the focus on what I DO eat, rather than what I DON'T eat. Works for me. Good luck! Vikki ~ Wild4Stars@gmail.com
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jagerue Joined: 09/05/11 Posts: 3	RE: getting teased! Posted Monday, September 5, 2011 at 12:08 PM LMAO! Love it! Thanks Pam! By the way one guy who was mowing thru the ribs has ALREADY had a massive heart attack 15 yrs. ago. His wife (my friend) loves the idea of eating the plant based diet but he wants no part of it. She ate the ribs too, though. Jagerue
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jagerue Joined: 09/05/11 Posts: 3	RE: getting teased! Posted Monday, September 5, 2011 at 12:15 PM Thanks for the great suggestions Wild4Stars and Petittarte. Now I feel I am better prepared to go there.
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aleta Joined: 01/07/10 Location: Claremont, CA Posts: 153	RE: getting teased! Posted Monday, September 5, 2011 at 12:24 PM I'm with Dobby. Those comebacks are good ones and not getting down in the "playpen" with them. Go Veggies!! aleta email
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Dobby Joined: 09/04/10 Posts: 113	RE: getting teased! Posted Monday, September 5, 2011 at 12:30 PM Wild4Stars, I agree with you. I think the term VEGAN can be heavily loaded and I like the term PLANT STRONG better. Too funny/sad that one of your tormenters is already post-heart attack. Ugh. Pam
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natcristo Joined: 03/01/10 Posts: 46	RE: getting teased! Posted Monday, September 5, 2011 at 1:43 PM http://www.vegsource.com/news/2009/09/how-to-win-an-argument-with-a-meat-eater.html check out the link above...it may help you out. I get bothered all the time and this does shut up most people. Dont let anyone stop you from being healthy. You will have the last laugh...you wont need surgery, have a heart attack...etcc... Natasha www.beautifulbeads.ecrater.com
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Bugsmom Joined: 09/13/10 Posts: 2072	RE: getting teased! Posted Monday, September 5, 2011 at 1:44 PM We generally don't say much unless specifically asked. We were at a picnic yesterday - burgers, hot dogs, chicken, smoked pork, mac&cheese, assorted dairy based dips, etc. We brought a big pot of baked beans (porkless of course). Got several compliments on the beans. When it was time to eat, I just grabbed a plate and FILLED it full up - beans, lettuce/tomato salad, some raw veg from the appetizer crudite, a few multi grain crackers (they were with the cheese tray), and a nice pasta salad (I think it might have had shaved parmesan cheese on it but I tried to stay away from those portions). There was no open space on the plate, so no one could notice I was "missing" anything. I ate myself full and life just rolled along. If someone asks (as in, inviting us for a sit down dinner at their house, not a potluck/bring a dish meal), we'll tell them that we prefer plant based eating and offer to bring something if they'd like us to. Sometimes they ask a few questions and 'get it'; other times, we bring something we know we'll eat and then pick and choose among the rest (there's usually a tossed salad to add to what we brought). If we know for sure that (a) they don't get it (b) they firmly say not to bring anything (c) dinner is likely to be not-edible (in terms of vegan low fat eating), we'll often eat before leaving the house and just nibble whatever bits seem 'safe' (salad, bread, fruit, etc). That way we can be sociable without caving to hunger. It's one of the times when pleading medical issues is a good thing - "Oh dear, that looks lovely but diabetes y'know, I need to steer clear of <white flour, high fat, fill in whatever> for my health, dr's orders" If they persist, I've said something like "no thanks, no cake for me but I'd LOVE some of that tea we had last time we were here - I think it was a spiced tea of some kind. Yeah, that's it. It's so good, I'll just have that..." and move the discussion on to other topics. As with many things, the proof of the (vegan) pudding is in the eating - in our case, friends can see the combined 100+ lbs hubby and I have lost over the last few years (80+ for him, about 45 for me). Nothing they can quibble with there - they don't have to do anything, but for us it's the only way to go. And now, we've got friends who ask about recipes because they know someone who is veg*n and they don't know what to cook for them. We invite folks over and serve vegan meals and they love it - reaching their minds and hearts through their stomach and taste buds! --Deb R
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veganer Joined: 01/04/11 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 196	RE: getting teased! Posted Monday, September 5, 2011 at 2:04 PM Sometimes this works: At a picnic, load your plate with vegan food that was there or that you brought. If anyone asks if you would like a burger or sandwich, tell them you want to eat this first. By the time later comes, they have lost track of you, are too busy eating or drinking themselves and have forgotten all about you. Well, that sounds a lot like what Bugsmom said in her first paragraph. She's right!
	Edited 09/05/11 2:27 PM Quote | Send PM | Link | Top | Bottom
Bucky Joined: 09/04/11 Posts: 5	RE: getting teased! Posted Monday, September 5, 2011 at 2:36 PM I agree with those who think we need a new name. I don't like calling myself a vegan. I like shaving my legs, and then there's the whole issue of leather. As for the people who criticize us for making changes, I think most of them wish they could do the same. My stepdad used to give me a horrible time teasing me when I stopped eating meat. Now he's borrowing all my books and experimenting with his own diet. your friends amd family will see the benefits of what you are doing. That is the best possible result. It may inspire them to do the same. Lana
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theodore Joined: 09/16/10 Posts: 641	RE: getting teased! Posted Monday, September 5, 2011 at 2:49 PM Bucky wrote: I don't like calling myself a vegan. I like shaving my legs........ WTD ?? Never make assumptions. You'll end up being an A**, and the UMP will TION you. -- Coach Smiley -- Fresh Prince of Bel Air
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veggiemama Joined: 09/05/11 Posts: 7	RE: getting teased! Posted Monday, September 5, 2011 at 3:19 PM We had dinner last night over at some friends' with whom we haven't eaten since we started our kickstart 2 weeks ago. They said they were doing burgers, so we brought veggie burgers and couscous confetti salad. The wife of the couple had a lot of questions about what we'd been eating and just genuinely seemed interested and supportive. I thought it was really funny, though, that after she ate some of the salad, she looked up and said, "You know, this is REALLY good, and I totally didn't expect to like it." I think that has been the thing I've been most surprised about in the 2 weeks that we've been eating vegan - I don't feel deprived in the least! In fact, I would venture to say our eating recently has been far more varied and interesting than typical. We typically say we're eating a plant-based diet, too. It does seem that the term "vegan" is, or at least can be, emotionally and politically charged. And for us, it was really just about becoming healthier and setting a better example for our son.
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Susan Levin Joined: 12/26/09 Posts: 1191	RE: getting teased! Posted Monday, September 5, 2011 at 7:12 PM You guys are awesome!! You could just sit there and look and feel fabulous. Susan Levin, MS, RD PCRM Director of Nutrition Education
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jumpforjoy Joined: 09/06/10 Posts: 54	RE: getting teased! Posted Monday, September 5, 2011 at 8:06 PM ...wouldn't it be great if everyone read the research! Instead, we deal with all those folks. I have been a Vegetarian for 20 years and heard it all from my family over the years. I'm from Montana, so would hear, "Why don't you just grow your own animals and then you could eat meat...".Seriously, like slaugher is a good thing. Well, I just kept at being a Vegetarian, until I realized that I was allergic to dairy (I've know since I was in my early 20's). Just didn't want to face it - in the 50's, I faced it. So, now if Vegan isn't well taken by whom ever is spouting off, I remind them of all my food allergies and then they are more interested in my choices. Why would I want to damage my colon. Wish I would have asked myself that question 20 years ago. Add the fact that my body feels best on a Vegan diet, and who wants to argue. They don't live inside my skin. I was recently out to dinner with some family members and they asked me if an Italian restaurant was ok. Sure, here's my pat order when there are no Vegan choices listed. " Would you please have the chef grill some vegatables and then add some red sauce (no cheese or meat) and please don't add any cheese. I'm Vegan and allergic to dairy". I don't always add the last sentence, but do at times. Everyone was looking at my pasta-less dish when it came out - it was so good. You will slowly begin empowering yourself - the sooner the better. Family will always be tough. You can always pull a couple of your most loved/trusted family members and ask them to support you when everyone starts ribbing. They will slowly see you are serious and you never know who you might win over. www
	Edited 09/05/11 8:08 PM Quote | Send PM | Link | Top | Bottom
wormtowngirl Joined: 04/05/11 Location: massachusetts Posts: 6	RE: getting teased! Posted Monday, September 5, 2011 at 9:36 PM Sorry, I double posted. peace
	Edited 09/05/11 9:46 PM Quote | Send PM | Link | Top | Bottom
wormtowngirl Joined: 04/05/11 Location: massachusetts Posts: 6	RE: getting teased! Posted Monday, September 5, 2011 at 9:44 PM I know this is too late to help you out for today's cookout, but I have taken to telling people that I'm taking my cholesterol levels seriously and doing all I can to bring them down without medication. It's true I am concerned about my cholesterol, but it's NOT why I'm vegan. In my experience though, people respect the chol # explanation and they drop the topic without any nonsense. I'm not averse to having a discussion about dietary choices and their consequences with people, but sometimes I just want a quiet meal with friends without getting into a whole "thing." I wish people weren't so juvenile though... carrying on about tofu as if it's the only thing vegans eat. GAH! peace
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JamieR Joined: 01/01/10 Location: Mendocino Coast, Northern California Posts: 116	RE: getting teased! Posted Tuesday, September 6, 2011 at 7:38 AM This is of absolutely no help to your question, but I just had to share an anecdote! My X2B and I run a small specialty food store and a year or so ago we were part of a vendor fair at our local upscale grocery store (that carries some of our product line). I was going around looking at the other vendors, and back in the meat department, there were some good ole boys grilling up some meat. As I was passing by, they offered me some. I declined, stating that I was vegan. They started to snicker, and said, "Well, the cow was grass-fed!" I stopped dead in my tracks, and with a big smile said, "I like to cut out the middle man and just have the grain!" They were all laughing when I left. Score 1 for the vegan! BTW, vegan doesn't really bother me as a term. I pretty much use the terms vegan, plant-based, plant-strong, and starchitarian. I live in Northern California and everyone here that I've run into seems to "get" the vegan thing without attaching anything else to it. There are a lot of vegans around, and people seem to completely respect it as a choice. It probably helps that our tiny town is the home of Living Light cooking school (raw food vegan school)...so if I eat out around town (which isn't often), servers know what I mean when asking if something is vegan-friendly; quite often they are vegan themselves! September Kickstart Goals: Walk/bike daily, keep up with forum, 100% low-fat vegan experimenting with maximizing FLAVOR! www
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