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| Forums: March 2010 Kickstart Forum Archive: Other People's comments | |||
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| therightthingtodo
Joined: 03/10/10 Posts: 3 |
Other People's comments Posted Wednesday, March 10, 2010 at 8:42 PM This diet is amazing. I love it. Thank your for your help. However I need help in dealing with my co-worker's comments: |
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| Mariberry
Joined: 01/02/10 Posts: 297 |
RE: Other People's comments Posted Thursday, March 11, 2010 at 12:22 AM Hi there - guess we've all got a story to tell with other's commenting on our lunch. The more I read and the more I learn, the more I realize that many of our "educated" friends are in a major time warp nutrition-wise. I'm sure you'll get lots of help but here's my two cents (mostly tongue-in-cheek): therightthingtodo wrote: What are you eating? My lunch. What are you eating?
Is it? Can't be worse than your heart attack on a plate. Tofu? That is disgusting. Have you ever tried it? You're entitled to your opinion but it helps if it's informed. What are you eating NOW? A big bowl of what's good for me - and you, too, if you'd care to try it. You eat the wierdest stuff. Thank you for noticing.
That's human nature though, isn't it?! Everyone's got an opinion. Never mind. When they notice how slim and trim you are with shining hair and clear skin, lots of energy and a peaceful aura, they'll ask you how you did it.....and then you can say, "Remember that tofu and other weird stuff...?" All we are saying is "Give Peas a Chance" |
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| aleta
Joined: 01/07/10 Location: Claremont, CA Posts: 153 |
RE: Other People's comments Posted Thursday, March 11, 2010 at 12:53 AM Mariberry said it all. I think those answers are great. I can never think of those kinds of things. aleta |
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Wild4Stars
 Location: Florida Posts: 832 |
RE: Other People's comments Posted Thursday, March 11, 2010 at 6:29 AM Some cute answers! I really just try to ignore ignorant people. Sometimes, some people don't take well to being ignored. I've also told people that my diet was recommended by a Doctor. And, it was, several acutally! I've also said "It's much more appetizing than it looks and I'll match my annual lab reports to yours any day." I've had people tell me they don't want to be healthy if it means they have to eat that way, and I've told them they will likely get their wish. I generally try to keep the conversation light rather than get into a battle of wits with an unarmed person! Vikki ~ Wild4Stars@gmail.com |
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| kclayton
Joined: 02/25/10 Posts: 33 |
RE: Other People's comments Posted Thursday, March 11, 2010 at 9:59 AM My friends were really rough on me at first, but as I've stuck with it, and lost 76 pounds, no one says anything any more and they are completely accepting of my diet. When they come to my house, they even love my food, and when I go to their homes, they try to include something I can eat. The most bizarre thing is that two of my friends who are extremely overweight are still adamantly sticking with their Atkins, low-carb diet, even though neither of them have lost much weight. I wish I could just shake them and make them read all of the books I've read, but I think each person really has to want to be open to the info. It is strange how resistant some folks are to the thought of a plant-based diet. |
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| ricadee
Joined: 03/01/10 Posts: 12 |
RE: Other People's comments Posted Thursday, March 11, 2010 at 10:30 AM I feel your pain! I live in the Midwest, and veganism is pretty much the most out-there concept many people have ever encountered. I've been a vegetarian for years now, and I'm honestly reluctant to tell people I've gone vegan until I've been doing it for a while and can prove to them how healthy it's made me. My mother has been waiting for me to spontaneously drop dead for about 10 years, ever since I gave up meat. Telling her that dairy and eggs have been nixed would really freak her out, I'm sure. With some people, it doesn't matter how much proof you give them, they will just never accept it. My mother happens to be morbidly obese, diabetic, and has recently lost a kidney to renal cancer (probably brought on by obesity). Yet, she will never concede that maybe what she's doing is less healthy than giving up animal products. My FIL is an optometrist. Not an MD, but still a man with significant medical background. He heard somewhere that vegetarians live, on average, 10 years less than omnivores. All of us know that is total BS, but again, there's just no convincing him otherwise. What I've learned is to just ignore them. Typically, engaging this type in a verbal debate just isn't worth it. Eventually, they will see that what you're doing isn't killing you (it's actually making you healthier!), and they'll get bored with badgering you about your diet. Keep in mind that, deep down, they're probably just jealous that you're a lot healthier than they are! Hang in there! |
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Vegann
 Posts: 35 |
RE: Other People's comments Posted Thursday, March 11, 2010 at 11:40 AM I've definitely encountered some very ignorant people while on this voyage. And I am only on the 11th day! I try my hardest to be gracious and kind when answering their questions. It is SUPER annoying, I don't feel like I should have to explain myself. But I try to tell myself that most people don't understand, can't fathom this diet. And if I appear to them that it is easy and effortless, than maybe they would be more apt to try it. But your co-worker's questions seem a little more malicious and mean. As mentioned in a previous thread about this, someone mentioned that others seem mean, or threatened, because it makes them realize how much they can't control what they are eating. But you are. So they become a bit jealous. I believe this is true. The people I get the most flack from are the most unhealthy. Anyway, I would try the suggestions above. And if worse comes to worse just ask her what about your diet annoys her so bad. Its not her concern what you are putting in your mouth, you aren't forcing it on her. So why should she even waste her breath. Its amazing to me how concerned people become with things that don't concern them. Good luck! Let us know how it goes! |
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| Wild4Stars
Location: Florida Posts: 832 |
RE: Other People's comments Posted Thursday, March 11, 2010 at 1:04 PM I have never in my life felt that I had the right or the nerve to make rude comments about what some one is eating. Even after 10+ years as a vegetarian, and now as a vegan it amazes me what people will say. Sometimes I just simply say, "Why do you care what I eat?" or "Why does it bother you?" Another good one - "I've tried your way of eating, how about you try mine? At least then you would understand what you are criticising." Vikki ~ Wild4Stars@gmail.com |
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| WAYOFLIFEHAWAII
Joined: 02/25/10 Posts: 14 |
RE: Other People's comments Posted Thursday, March 11, 2010 at 1:38 PM Hi everyone, Here's our storys: Hi I'm Jerry. I try to be polite Because there was a time when I was asking the same questions. But, every now and then when someone catches me at the wrong time,I ask them to watch a movie like "FOOD INC". Then I ask them to come talk to me about what I'm eating. Also, theres been a couple of times I've told people that they should be more aware of what their eating, then what I'm eating.(Honest & Irish) Hi I'm Junko. Most of my friends are japanese and they don't ask me how or what I'm eating. Vegan way of eating is pretty close to our old traditional way of eating. But, some of my japanese friends have taken up a more processed style of eating and it shows. Well everyone, The next time someone ask you what your eating say, HEALTHY...! ALOHA & MAHALO, Jerry & Junko |
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| TexGal
Joined: 02/25/10 Location: Texas Posts: 111 |
RE: Other People's comments Posted Thursday, March 11, 2010 at 2:29 PM It is really tempting to respond with equally tacky comments like "Ewww! Are you really eating the flesh of dead animals?" or "Did you know that fat you are eating is going to go straight into your arteries, not to mention on your hips?" But I think the best way to win people over to "our side" is to be gentle, calm, and considerate. Hopefully most people are not intentionally cruel, just uninformed. Telling them the health benefits of your new way of eating, or offering to let them taste a delicious recipe, or loaning them a book or article about vegan eating and the benefits will go a lot farther than stooping to their level. I love Wild4stars' responses of asking them why they care or why they are so bothered by whatever you are eating. Another tactic would be the "feel-felt-found" as used in sales. When someone says your tofu or whatever looks "gross" you can say something like "You know, I understand how you feel because used to think that way too, but I decided to try it because I knew this way of eating would be healthier for me, and what I found was that I am losing weight, I have more energy, I have been able to cut down on my BP medicines, and I know I am causing less harm to the earth" (or whatever fits your personal case). |
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| kclayton
Joined: 02/25/10 Posts: 33 |
RE: Other People's comments Posted Thursday, March 11, 2010 at 2:44 PM Tex Gal, I love your "feel, felt, found" tip. Without even knowing it, that is what I've been doing usually. It definitely works. |
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| Wild4Stars
Location: Florida Posts: 832 |
RE: Other People's comments Posted Thursday, March 11, 2010 at 3:04 PM I love the "feel, felt, found" approach but sometimes people are just so rude I can't be that patient. I actually had someone say, with a group of people at the table, that I was "too good" to eat sausage with my waffles like "normal" people. At that one I used the "why does it bother you what I eat or don't eat? I don't care what you eat?" I might add, this was a hugely, morbidly obese person who was more than glad to eat my share of the sausage! Vikki ~ Wild4Stars@gmail.com |
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| TexGal
Joined: 02/25/10 Location: Texas Posts: 111 |
RE: Other People's comments Posted Thursday, March 11, 2010 at 3:38 PM Wild4Stars wrote: I love the "feel, felt, found" approach but sometimes people are just so rude I can't be that patient. I actually had someone say, with a group of people at the table, that I was "too good" to eat sausage with my waffles like "normal" people. At that one I used the "why does it bother you what I eat or don't eat? I don't care what you eat?" I might add, this was a hugely, morbidly obese person who was more than glad to eat my share of the sausage! That is so funny ... in a really sad kind of way.... |
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| Wild4Stars
Location: Florida Posts: 832 |
RE: Other People's comments Posted Thursday, March 11, 2010 at 3:40 PM For some people everything is about them. The only reason you are eating healthy is to make THEM feel bad! At least, I think that's where her thinking was coming from. Vikki ~ Wild4Stars@gmail.com |
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| TexGal
Joined: 02/25/10 Location: Texas Posts: 111 |
RE: Other People's comments Posted Thursday, March 11, 2010 at 3:43 PM You know, people like that will do the same thing with any positive change you make in your life. If you were to quit drinking, open your own business, start doing volunteer work, or anything else that they DON'T do, they would accuse you of thinking you were better than them and getting "above yourself." As if that were a BAD thing.... |
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| Wild4Stars
Location: Florida Posts: 832 |
RE: Other People's comments Posted Thursday, March 11, 2010 at 3:49 PM TexGal wrote: You know, people like that will do the same thing with any positive change you make in your life. If you were to quit drinking, open your own business, start doing volunteer work, or anything else that they DON'T do, they would accuse you of thinking you were better than them and getting "above yourself." As if that were a BAD thing....  Excellent point, I think you're right. They think you are only doing it to make yourself look better than them. Again - it's all about THEM. Vikki ~ Wild4Stars@gmail.com |
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| therightthingtodo
Joined: 03/10/10 Posts: 3 |
RE: Other People's comments Posted Thursday, March 11, 2010 at 5:23 PM Thank you all for your suggestions and support! I live in the Midwest also-- so not eating meat is a huge issue for some people! |
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| veveveveggie
Joined: 12/28/09 Posts: 114 |
RE: Other People's comments Posted Friday, March 12, 2010 at 7:54 AM I wonder if long term vegans get skilled at working with these comments. It would be great to have the sensitivity to turn these around to raise awareness. I'm going to try replaying the situation in my mind so that I don't respond in a self-protective way. By doing that, each "assault" becomes an opportunity. An open-hearted response could be genuinely disarming. I could learn to apply the more authentic approach to living I am cultivating as a vegan. As it is, I get very angry and guarded. My self-talk turns to "How dare they!" My body tightens and my posture gets rigid. If I could just keep my shoulders down and my heart open, a caring, gentle response may come forth. That's really what my veganism is about...a caring, gentle response to the cruelty of our society. |
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sandra41
 Location: California Posts: 43 |
RE: Other People's comments Posted Friday, March 12, 2010 at 10:50 AM I live in cow central. We are the land of dairy and dead carcass on a plate. Two of my co workers have family that work at the local meat slaughter plant. They ALWAYS tell me that I eat too healthy or wow, are you really going to eat ALL those veggies? They call me weird because I choose almonds and sliced bell peppers for a snack. Well, They are both 60-80 pounds over weight, have to take meds for cholesterol and are sick all the time.....so tell me who is the crazy one? Hang in there and kill them with kindness and a skinny a**! Your stomach shouldn't be a waist basket. |
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| slowcarr
Joined: 12/27/09 Posts: 33 |
RE: Other People's comments Posted Friday, March 12, 2010 at 11:07 AM I have been a vegan for over a year and a half now. Some of my "friends" still make comments about what I don't eat not what I eat. I am a senior citizen & I have 1 friend in particular who constantly makes comments. But I've noticed it's only when other people are around. I try to ignore it but usually I only manage not to be rude. Not always though. My Irish won't let me take too much too long. Just the other day At a senior potluck there was a talk given be pharmacy students from UofM. They gave us questions to think about without answering aloud.To see how many we could answer yes too. One question was "do you get enough dairy products in your diet". My friend pounced on this one. She said that left me out. I told her I get my calcium & vitamin D in healthier ways. After the presentation I told these students I was a vegan & I was healthier now than I have been in over 30 years. It's sad that even those we should be able to trust are being taught misinformation. |
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