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| Forums: March 2010 Kickstart Forum Archive: Out to Eat disasters? | |||
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| Faithella
Joined: 01/04/10 Posts: 23 |
Out to Eat disasters? Posted Friday, March 19, 2010 at 3:23 PM I was out to eat last night and it was a disaster. I have been out to eat as a vegan and ususally it goes well, sometimes I need to explain more than I should but they are usually accommodating and creative for the most part. Last night we went to an upscale place for a dinner meeting, it was a larger group than expected, however I said to the waiter I am a vegan, explaining that meant not animal products at all. In the past I have had risotto, stirfried vegetables or pasta (not really vegan sometimes but at least a good attempt), he brought a salad with cheese all over it and vegetable ravioli (good thought) smothered in a 'lobster cream sauce'. Not only was it not vegan but I REALLY cannot tolerate dairy and have not EVER eaten (or desired to eat) shellfish. I could not believe it. I ate some of the veggies and the ravioli after getting the sauce off and learned my lesson; I will call ahead or talk to the chef or hostess before I get to my seat. I did not have to pay for dinner but if I did I would heve sent it all back until they got it right. If you are in the Harrisburg area it was DEVON but a great alternative is THE GOLDEN SHEAF. |
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| kcwriter
Joined: 03/13/10 Posts: 62 |
RE: Out to Eat disasters? Posted Friday, March 19, 2010 at 3:38 PM I've only been on this a week, but I can see that I need to bring my food with me when I leave the house. My friend does this because she is on a strict diet. But being vegan and the fact I've chosen to get wheat out of my diet pretty much finishes me off. I took the kids to subway and I don't eat bread. Well, I get real sick of salads fast because I don't like them to begin with. So I made up a bunch of beans, rice, rice and corn totillas and soups. I will have them ready at all times. have a good day. kc |
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| mommyof2nc
Joined: 12/31/09 Location: North Carolina Posts: 172 |
RE: Out to Eat disasters? Posted Friday, March 19, 2010 at 3:56 PM You still have to be careful, even if something doesn't appear to have meat in it, too. I had jury duty a month ago and during our lunch break, I had the options of either eating at a hot dog stand or a BBQ restaurant. (The county courthouse is in a pretty small town.) I figured I could at least get a salad at the BBQ restaurant, so I went there, saw they had veggie soup, had the waitress tell me that there were definitely no animal products in it, only to find out after tasting it that it was made with beef broth. Apparently, if you can't see it, it's not made with animal products. Oh, and that waitress should have known that there was beef broth in there because that restaurant apparently makes everything from scratch, so she was either too lazy to ask, didn't care, or really didn't think beef broth would be a problem. |
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| Mariberry
Joined: 01/02/10 Posts: 297 |
RE: Out to Eat disasters? Posted Friday, March 19, 2010 at 5:31 PM kcwriter wrote: But being vegan and the fact I've chosen to get wheat out of my diet pretty much finishes me off. Sorry...that line just cracked me up. It reminded me of that Woody Allen film where he lives on a bowl of steam. Thanks for the smile today! All we are saying is "Give Peas a Chance" |
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| fiji51904
Joined: 01/12/10 Location: Ontario, CA Posts: 98 |
RE: Out to Eat disasters? Posted Friday, March 19, 2010 at 7:23 PM Oh I sooooooo feel for you on that one but imagine that you are the owner of the restaurant…My family owns a cpl of down home country cooking restaurants and I’ll tell you the food is GREAT, but so far from great FOR you its ridiculous. Well I can have oatmeal and an iceberg lettuce (why even bother!) w/”fresh” veggies but that is pretty much it. I am working on getting veggie burgers on the menu and teaching them to cook w/water rather than oil this summer…little steps, little baby steps. Heidi |
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| mommyof2nc
Joined: 12/31/09 Location: North Carolina Posts: 172 |
RE: Out to Eat disasters? Posted Friday, March 19, 2010 at 10:52 PM fiji51904 wrote: Oh I sooooooo feel for you on that one but imagine that you are the owner of the restaurant…My family owns a cpl of down home country cooking restaurants and I’ll tell you the food is GREAT, but so far from great FOR you its ridiculous. Well I can have oatmeal and an iceberg lettuce (why even bother!) w/”fresh” veggies but that is pretty much it. I am working on getting veggie burgers on the menu and teaching them to cook w/water rather than oil this summer…little steps, little baby steps. I hear you! |
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| philocrates
Joined: 03/18/10 Posts: 47 |
RE: Out to Eat disasters? Posted Saturday, March 20, 2010 at 12:03 AM I would have called the waiter to me and said in a quiet voice to the waiter that I could NOT eat this. Perhaps it is my age or perhaps it is watching too much Gordon Ramsay, I've got old, "mean" and have certain standards. Harrisburg? PA? Lord help you. BTW you might want to try the vegetarian restaurant in Juniata County in Walnut on Rt 75 right above Port Royal [off exit 322] All their stuff comes fresh from the Iskon farm edited because I can't spell. |
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| drdeb
Joined: 01/02/10 Posts: 36 |
RE: Out to Eat disasters? Posted Saturday, March 20, 2010 at 9:51 AM I have had the same experience. When I am out with friends, I hate to make a big production of asking what is in everything on the menu, but I have found that many things that look vegan are not. If you ever go to chain restaurants (I usually don't but I happened to be at one with my book club), you can check out the menu ahead at http://www.veganeatingout.com/restaurants.html. I was at TGI Fridays and found that nothing was vegan (not even the salads) except a basket of French fries, and those were probably cooked in the same oil as everything else. I have very little difficulty sticking with the vegan diet, except when I go out. I hate to make a spectacle of myself eating a basket of fries or nothing at all. |
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| TexGal
Joined: 02/25/10 Location: Texas Posts: 111 |
RE: Out to Eat disasters? Posted Saturday, March 20, 2010 at 12:37 PM drdeb wrote: I have had the same experience. When I am out with friends, I hate to make a big production of asking what is in everything on the menu, but I have found that many things that look vegan are not. If you ever go to chain restaurants (I usually don't but I happened to be at one with my book club), you can check out the menu ahead at http://www.veganeatingout.com/restaurants.html. I was at TGI Fridays and found that nothing was vegan (not even the salads) except a basket of French fries, and those were probably cooked in the same oil as everything else. I have very little difficulty sticking with the vegan diet, except when I go out. I hate to make a spectacle of myself eating a basket of fries or nothing at all. Could you order one of the salads and just ask them to leave off the cheese? Or the Dragonfire Chicken -- hold the chicken? I know it's pretty hard to get any changes at fast food places, but I would think a TGIFridays could make those adjustments. Also, thanks for the link for the guide to vegan eating out. But I'm not sure if it is totally correct, or perhaps is out of date in some cases. For example, it lists Red Robin as having no vegan options, but the menu for the location nearest to me says that "The Boca® patty, the Gardenburger® or turkey patty can be substituted for no additional charge." Aren't Boca burgers and Gardenburgers vegan? I guess I need to look them up and see if they contain eggs or something .... Or there is a guacamole, salsa, and chip appetizer that I could probably use for a meal. I suppose some sour cream could be hidden in the guacamole .... I guess I'm trying to figure out how to get a balance for myself. I want to follow a vegan diet as much as I can, whether at home or eating out. But I don't want to add a ton of stress to my life by worrying if a bite of restaurant guacamole or vegetable soup has some animal product hidden in it. I'm not saying anyone else feels the same, but just that for me doing the best I can is all I can do, and if I accidentally -- or because there are no other options available -- eat a little meat broth or egg or whatever, I don't think it is going to do me a lot of damage. The last time I went to a Thai restaurant, I thought it would be easy to avoid animal products, but found out there weren't as many options as I had hoped. I ordered Pad Thai, thinking it was vegan, then when I got home and looked up recipes for it, I found out that it usually contains fish sauce, which I wasn't aware of. I can't change that, but I probably won't go back to that particular restaurant because there really weren't any other dishes that looked vegan. How do others feel about this? Are you trying to be 100% vegan, no matter what and no matter where, and if it means having nothing but water at the restaurant, then so be it? Do you find that allowing the occasional slip-up makes it harder to remain vegan afterwards, like an alcoholic trying to have "just one drink"? Or is it a philosophical issue regarding harming animals, even for just a tiny bit of chicken or whatever? Since I want this to be a lifestyle change forever, and not just a temporary "diet" I am trying to figure out how to do it in a way that is do-able for me while also getting as many benefits as possible for my health and the planet. I'd really like to hear other people's thoughts on this. Thanks! |
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| marcia
Joined: 01/01/10 Location: Rockford, Il Posts: 101 |
RE: Out to Eat disasters? Posted Saturday, March 20, 2010 at 1:17 PM It is hard to find vegan entres on the menu. I went to Applebees last night. I got the chicken asian salad. Told the waiter to hold the chicken and add mushrooms instead. The dressing probably wasn't vegan so I just used 1/2 of it. It is always something. I couldn't believe the whole menu was meat. I quess we just have to keep calling restaurants and ask for a least one vegan entre. I just don't go out to eat as much as I did before becoming vegan. If I do order something and it's not completly vegan I make do with it and make a note for the next time I go out. |
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| Faithella
Joined: 01/04/10 Posts: 23 |
RE: Out to Eat disasters? Posted Saturday, March 20, 2010 at 2:43 PM Thanks for all your stories I feel better that I am not crazy for getting frustrated. I know that it it more difficult to eat out and not to trust anything I dont cook; it took me months to get a straight answer about 'brown sauce' at the chinese place that for so long said it had not animal in it...it was oyster sauce in it...no eyes no animal I guess. Thanks for the tip about Juniata Co. |
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BlondRenee
 Location: California Posts: 97 |
RE: Out to Eat disasters? Posted Saturday, March 20, 2010 at 3:43 PM Sorry about your disaster. Some days are better than others |
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mollyhorn
 Location: Fort Worth, TX Posts: 582 |
RE: Out to Eat disasters? Posted Saturday, March 20, 2010 at 4:13 PM TexGal wrote: [quote="drdeb"]I guess I'm trying to figure out how to get a balance for myself. I want to follow a vegan diet as much as I can, whether at home or eating out. But I don't want to add a ton of stress to my life by worrying if a bite of restaurant guacamole or vegetable soup has some animal product hidden in it. I'm not saying anyone else feels the same, but just that for me doing the best I can is all I can do, and if I accidentally -- or because there are no other options available -- eat a little meat broth or egg or whatever, I don't think it is going to do me a lot of damage. How do others feel about this? Are you trying to be 100% vegan, no matter what and no matter where, and if it means having nothing but water at the restaurant, then so be it? Do you find that allowing the occasional slip-up makes it harder to remain vegan afterwards, like an alcoholic trying to have "just one drink"? Or is it a philosophical issue regarding harming animals, even for just a tiny bit of chicken or whatever? Great question! For me, the transition to veganism is mainly about (1) the environment, (2) my health, (3) the animals, in that order, (and yes, I realize many will disagree with me, but that's where I stand today... my opinion could change tomorrow!). Because of that, when eating out it is more important for me to choose the healthiest option, rather than the 100% vegan option. I would choose a salad or soup over french fries any day! I can't imagine any of the staff of PCRM suggesting that one eat French Fries as a good vegan meal. They'd tell you to get the Boca burger or a salad or something! Part of life is learning to do the best you can. We all have to be flexible sometimes. I speak from experience on this, because I am a recovering compulsive eater, and have been in recovery for 4 years. In my recovery, it is like alcoholism, in that one deviation can make it that much harder to get back on track. However, I would not say the same is true for veg*nism, at least not so far. In my recovery and in my transition to this new way of living, I am learning to be gentle with myself, and that includes allowing myself room to make compromises when necessary. I hope that made sense. Molly Horn |
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| drdeb
Joined: 01/02/10 Posts: 36 |
RE: Out to Eat disasters? Posted Saturday, March 20, 2010 at 4:14 PM TexGal -- some veggie burgers are vegan and some are not. The original Garden Burger and the regular Boca burger both have milk products in them. Both brands have vegan choices, but I don't know what the restaurants use -- I think probably the "regular" ones -- but you can usually go to the restaurant's website (if it is a chain), and check. |
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| philocrates
Joined: 03/18/10 Posts: 47 |
RE: Out to Eat disasters? Posted Saturday, March 20, 2010 at 5:55 PM Vegan or Vegetarian is a personal choice. Some choices are healthier than others. It's that simple. However you can choose to do what you want [and ditto for me] not extending outside of legal boundries. It's healthier not to smoke but some individuals smoke. Where I run into the problem is when someone says "I am Vegan [Vegetarian] Oh but I eat fish. Had chicken broth or whatever" Why? Simply put because I just went thru the FISH IS NOT VEGETARIAN no matter what anyone who claims they are vegetarian says. Vegan is keeping Vegan. You can't eat animals or animal products [we won't get into the insect fight over honey here] and claim vegan. That includes simply for health. Why? Because you have twits who then serve fish to someone who hasn't ate meat products for years and since it is a hospital, the patient then throws up because they aren't use to the richness. Esp when keeping low fat. They removed fish from the computer that told the kitchen it was ok to serve fish to a Vegetarian because they eat fish, after I made a HUGE fuss and they served it two more times [to which the other half threw up again] Frankly I hate to have to do battle when I am worried about the other half's heart attack. IF someone had not ordered fish and said they were vegetarian, they wouldn't have done it. Yes repeated someones but also means that Vegetarians were not getting a meal the night they got the fish. If you are a pescatarian say you are, don't claim Vegetarian. As I said to the dietician, the fish should not have been included and the person who said it was needed a dictionary and to learn to read but the hospital itself KNOWS better. It doesn't matter the reason be you ethical or Health or both. Simply a person who eats chicken broth is NOT a Vegan. Sorry. See the dictionary. The easiest way out is to say "Oh I eat close to a Vegan diet" If you go on another Vegan or Vegetarian board and say you had Chicken broth in your soup, but that's ok because it was Fat Free and didn't have sodium. Someone is going to get their feelings hurt in the flame war that might ensue. You want to see a real fight start the honey topic up. Yes do what is right for you but if the sky is blue, it's not green. If you eat meat by products, you aren't vegan. You keep Kosher, you keep Vegan but don't say you are Kosher right after you have ham broth. Ditto for Vegan It is NOT a matter of degrees. You can't say I'm 50% vegan. You can't say I eat a 50% Kosher diet if you are Jewish. You either are or you aren't. It doesn't make it wrong. It just makes it what it is. Either I'm a drunk or I'm in recovery. No other choice. Sometimes there are NO shades of grey and you own what you do. Your choices are ok but you can't justify them by calling something something it isn't. And yes we are NOT ethical vegetarians/vegans but I respect those who are and it is what it is. |
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| veveveveggie
Joined: 12/28/09 Posts: 114 |
RE: Out to Eat disasters? Posted Saturday, March 20, 2010 at 6:46 PM I like to call ahead and talk to management before I show up at a restaurant with friends. The advantages: you have an ally, you aren't dealing with wait staff and you don't make a big fuss in front of others. Also, you know what you are getting in advance so when you get it you aren't disappointed. Sometimes I get a "long face" over food especially if I have to turn down pie someone made with butter. I am getting more picky about my veganism as I go along. I think of veganism as a process (wild4stars I know you are there). I consider myself vegan even though I am more precisely a strict vegetarian. I stick with the vegan moniker because I would rather strive for that and socially, I don't want to mess with the "what kind of vegetarian are you?" I want my food VEGAN and I am getting pretty good at getting that! I use to knit with beautiful wool yarns. My last project I knitted a great cable shawl from hand painted locally made wool and mohair. What am I going to do with that??? I have a sweater I knitted from imported Irish tweed. These are both expensive and I put a lot of time into them. But, how do I wear them and call myself vegan??? Whatever...I still won't eat meat, dairy, eggs, fowl or fish. I no longer buy wool or leather. Call me what you want. Jean |
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| mollyhorn
Location: Fort Worth, TX Posts: 582 |
RE: Out to Eat disasters? Posted Saturday, March 20, 2010 at 6:54 PM veveveveggie wrote: I like to call ahead and talk to management before I show up at a restaurant with friends. The advantages: you have an ally, you aren't dealing with wait staff and you don't make a big fuss in front of others. Also, you know what you are getting in advance so when you get it you aren't disappointed. Sometimes I get a "long face" over food especially if I have to turn down pie someone made with butter. I am getting more picky about my veganism as I go along. I think of veganism as a process (wild4stars I know you are there). I consider myself vegan even though I am more precisely a strict vegetarian. I stick with the vegan moniker because I would rather strive for that and socially, I don't want to mess with the "what kind of vegetarian are you?" I want my food VEGAN and I am getting pretty good at getting that! I use to knit with beautiful wool yarns. My last project I knitted a great cable shawl from hand painted locally made wool and mohair. What am I going to do with that??? I have a sweater I knitted from imported Irish tweed. These are both expensive and I put a lot of time into them. But, how do I wear them and call myself vegan??? Whatever...I still won't eat meat, dairy, eggs, fowl or fish. I no longer buy wool or leather. Call me what you want. Jean Great points, Jean. Thank you for saying that. You said exactly what I wanted to say, but I didn't know the right words. Thank you, thank you. Molly Horn |
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| veveveveggie
Joined: 12/28/09 Posts: 114 |
RE: Out to Eat disasters? Posted Saturday, March 20, 2010 at 7:06 PM What philocrats says is true though. It can get really heavy with rules. Like there is some copyright on the word vegan. On the other hand, I enjoy listening to Gary Francione. I find him to be good reinforcement. I don't know what the answer is...advocating for a kind and gentle, harm none lifestyle is very important. Part of that, however, is having respect for the efforts of others and yourself. Be the change you wish to see in the world. (I would like to see way less violence.) |
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| drdeb
Joined: 01/02/10 Posts: 36 |
RE: Out to Eat disasters? Posted Sunday, March 21, 2010 at 9:02 AM I try to be as strict as I can with what I eat. I guess I would say I am more of an ethical vegan than anything else, although I love the health benefits and weight loss that have come with it. I know it is difficult, but I think of it as a boycott of cruel farming practices. If I do the easy thing and eat animal products, I am encouraging these things to continue. It is just overwhelming when you realize how much of the American diet is based on animal products. I do have a few pairs of leather shoes (I was never a big shoe person, so I don't have a closet full, thank heavens!), and some wool sweaters. It would be wasteful to throw them away. I plan to wear them until they wear out, and only buy vegan-friendly clothing from now on. |
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| Faithella
Joined: 01/04/10 Posts: 23 |
RE: Out to Eat disasters? Posted Sunday, March 21, 2010 at 4:53 PM I think along the same lines as philocrates in that I often say I try to keep to a vegan diet when I am not being true to the vegan way. I also become VERY frustrated with friends of mine that say they don't eat meat or that they are vegetarians and then eat animal broth based soup, refried beans cooked with pork fat and pretend not to know how the sauce on the food is prepared. My goal by the end of the year is to be vegan and I get more day in every month (6 omnivour days in a month at most now), I also get frustrated with the people close to me (and myself) when I have not prepared food at home simple to use that as an excuse to do the 'easy thing' ordering out. My family have made it clear they do not intend to ever give up meat. I know that they will not cook the meals (not for years now) and I could make all vegan meals, leaving the meat cooking to them if they feel the need. I really do not like to go out much and I have asked for the salad, no cheese no meat, brought earth balance spread for the bread and taken the entree home to my son. I love when I get to Life Alive in Lowell, MA (where I was raised); it is a vegan resteraunt, I can eat anything in the menu with no concerns at all. This really is a progression for me; I still buy meat from a local farmer that takes great pains to maintain the old ways of farming alive, including having his animals in a stress free environment. I am aware that puts me at odds with the vegan community and I have come to understand that this is such a personal conviction that like religion and politics I have to temper my arguments with the knowledge that what I say can chase people away from ever trying to become more compassionate in their lives. Thank you all for your opinions and insight it is appreciated. Faith |
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So, I just ate my kind of gross iceberg lettuce salad and had a roll (which I'm sure wasn't vegan but I was starving). 
That BBQ restaurant looks like a hole in the wall but it's been there for 40+ years and has a HUGE following, so I'm sure the food there is really good. I'd just never been there until after I'd gone vegan, so I was a little annoyed. I really didn't think I'd have to be there through lunch, since I'd gotten on a jury, but apparently in NC, that doesn't matter - you have to serve through the entire session, which is normally a week long. If I'd known that, I would have just brought my lunch with me. 
But maybe the best thing to do is eat before leaving the house or encourage friends to go to restaurants with vegan options.| New Topic Reply Subscription Options |
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