21-Day Vegan Kickstart

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Forums: January 2011 Kickstart Forum: Making eating out less awkward?
Created on: 01/17/11 01:02 AM Views: 2765 Replies: 14
Making eating out less awkward?
Posted Monday, January 17, 2011 at 1:02 AM

I feel uncomfortable special ordering things at restaurants. I've been trying to get over it, but it's hard. I live in a small town without a lot of options. There is a local Mexican restaurant we like, but they only have two options that seem easy to vegan-ize, but when we tried it got very mixed up, complicated and stressful. I am always very polite and have been tipping very well in the desperate hope that they will remember us and it will be easier next time. I really wish we could just order something as is, but I can't think of anywhere here where that is possible.

What we've been getting is:

The beef burrito combo, substitute a bean burrito and no cheese on the burrito or the side of beans

Fajitas, vegetables only, no sour cream, no cheese, no guacamole (they have dairy in theirs)

We keep getting part of the order (like no beans, no tortillas) or the cheese is still on one part like on the side beans but not the burrito.

I also just feel bad for being so much trouble. I feel like the waiters are annoyed, or insulted, or something.

Any suggestions?

RE: Making eating out less awkward?
Posted Monday, January 17, 2011 at 3:08 AM

same here...I eat out less now....and a lot time, I found there is nothing I could eat...

but, I am trying not to make a big deal...especially dining out with friends, etc....

I don't want to stress myself out...I will do my best, but, if not (cheat a little bit)...it is OK. I am going to be fine Wink

RE: Making eating out less awkward?
Posted Monday, January 17, 2011 at 8:16 AM

Have you tried phoning in advance ??

Never make assumptions. You'll end up being an A**, and the UMP will TION you. -- Coach Smiley -- Fresh Prince of Bel Air

RE: Making eating out less awkward?
Posted Monday, January 17, 2011 at 8:20 AM

I agree. This for me is a lifestyle. If I am going to be out or at family function I attempt vegan, plan to remain vegetarian and get right back on plan next meal.

RE: Making eating out less awkward?
Posted Monday, January 17, 2011 at 8:43 AM

peasandrice wrote:

I feel uncomfortable special ordering things at restaurants. I've been trying to get over it, but it's hard. I live in a small town without a lot of options. There is a local Mexican restaurant we like, but they only have two options that seem easy to vegan-ize, but when we tried it got very mixed up, complicated and stressful. I am always very polite and have been tipping very well in the desperate hope that they will remember us and it will be easier next time. I really wish we could just order something as is, but I can't think of anywhere here where that is possible.

What we've been getting is:

The beef burrito combo, substitute a bean burrito and no cheese on the burrito or the side of beans

Fajitas, vegetables only, no sour cream, no cheese, no guacamole (they have dairy in theirs)

We keep getting part of the order (like no beans, no tortillas) or the cheese is still on one part like on the side beans but not the burrito.

I also just feel bad for being so much trouble. I feel like the waiters are annoyed, or insulted, or something.

Any suggestions?

You are paying THEM. Would you feel bad about it if you took your car in for an oil change and they didn't change the oil but went ahead and vacuumed the carpets? You'd take it back and have them do it correctly. Same applies to restaurants (and doctors, and hair salons, and so on). If preparing the food you're paying for to your liking is annoying to the maybe you shouldn't be patronizing that location. And, tipping well when they get things wrong is just o-u-t. Unless, of course, they correct it promptly and politely when you point out the issue. I always give benefit of the doubt to the wait staff - once. And I expect it to be corrected when pointed out. In most cases, they are quick to fix it because they know their tip is on the line if they don't get it right. Good tips are for good service - which includes making things right if there's a mix-up.

Of course, there's also a possibility that there's a communication issue (their main language is Spanish for example). You might consider writing out what you want before you go there so you can point to it and/or give them the paper. Maybe even learn the words for "no cheese" (sin queso) so you can do the special parts of the order in a way that communicates better.

--Deb R

RE: Making eating out less awkward?
Posted Monday, January 17, 2011 at 8:54 AM

I guess to eat well, you'll just have to get over the embarassment/hassle issue. I've been a vegetarian for years, and I've gotten used to "special orders." If you had some other health issue--let's say you're in a wheelchair--would you feel you shouldn't ask for a table with enough room around it? Do you apologize for having to exercise to stay healthy? For all the waiters that don't understand, or get it wrong, there will be others who get it right. Once when I asked a waiter what was vegan on the menu, and he said "nothing," the chef came out to my table to figure out what he could whip up for me. That doesn't happen often, but it was pretty cool when it did. Keep trying! Smile

RE: Making eating out less awkward?
Posted Monday, January 17, 2011 at 9:32 AM

We live in a very small town that thinks fishing and hunting is what brings in the tourists so we eat out infrequently mostly because I feel I could make it better and cheaper at home. But when we do go out - usually for some group thing - we do drop in ahead of time and tell them we're coming. At one restaurant he makes us a delicious veggie soup. Another restaurant is more creative and we've had delicious wraps and stir frys. Other times just dropping in we usually end up with white pasta and a tomato sauce out of a can (I do begrudge paying $10 or more for something that they threw together for less than a dollar). When we go to Toronto it is a real treat to go out and enjoy real vegan food.

RE: Making eating out less awkward?
Posted Monday, January 17, 2011 at 10:47 AM

I live in hunting country too; and we have a meat packing facility on every corner, it seems. My husband and I can't eat out at too many places close to our home for that reason. Once we went to a diner with my father, and it was lunchtime ... the only thing my husband could get that was vegetarian was a salad. They wouldn't even make a baked potato because it wasn't "dinner time." Needless to say, we no longer set foot in that particular diner. We save our dinners out now mostly for special occasions, and we either go down to Philly, an hour's train ride for us, or we drive an hour to New Hope, PA, which has a fantastic vegan restaurant that opened last year. We did discover a very nice BYOB Mediterranean restaurant not too far away where can order a bunch of appetizers -- hummus, stuffed grape leaves, etc. -- and call it dinner. They are very accommodating, and the food is good.

Don't make a New Year's Resolution...make a Decision!

RE: Making eating out less awkward?
Posted Monday, January 17, 2011 at 11:04 AM

I was out last evening at a restaurant for a family birthday. My daughter and I both ordered the vegetarian pizza with no cheese. It was delish. Many restaurants have pizza--try it without the cheese!

RE: Making eating out less awkward?
Posted Monday, January 17, 2011 at 11:43 AM

I am a vegan, my husband is not. To make it easy for the waiters, I tell them I'm a vegetarian but can't eat dairy products, such as milk, cheese, butter. (They generally don't understand what 'vegan' is.) Out for Mexican food I order a side salad and veggie fajitas, a bean tostada, or a bean and veggie burrito. When hubby wants a steak dinner, I order a salad and whatever veggies I can with no butter. Pizza time, my half has no cheese and lots of veggies. Chinese is easy. We go out together to eat at least once a week. I haven't found it to be that hard. We have vegan restaurants around us, but hubby isn't ready for that. I go to the vegan restaurants with friends or order out.

RE: Making eating out less awkward?
Posted Monday, January 17, 2011 at 12:13 PM

Thanks for all the advice! Language is bit of a problem, but the worst part is having to make more than one change to the food. Ordering side dishes that just require one change instead of several would be easier. There is an Italian restaurant we could try, maybe I need to branch out more. About 45 minutes away there is a Thai restaurant and an Indian one that have items that just are vegan, so we could also get into the habit of driving farther away for our weekly date. My mom probably wouldn't mind watching the kids a little longer.

I used to always tip well and always got really great service at a restaurant where we were "regulars" but that place closed a few months ago. Tip according to service does make more sense if you aren't going to go often enough to be a regular.

I didn't think switching to vegan from lacto-veg would be that big of a jump, but it really is forcing me to move beyond my comfort zone (which is a good thing). A lot of the vegetarian staples don't work so well if the cheese is just removed (although I agree a veggie pizza with no cheese is really good). Trying different places is probably the thing to do and being a bit braver over all.

RE: Making eating out less awkward?
Posted Monday, January 17, 2011 at 1:58 PM

One thing I sometimes do if nothing on the menu is vegetarian, is ask if I can order a la carte. Making a bunch of modifications to an existing combo plate is just asking for a mistake somewhere, so I'll just ask for a plain bean burrito (if there's no lard in the beans). In small towns though, it's difficult and I admit that I take what I can get if I'm very far outside the city (like dining with relatives in East Texas). Heck, even in the city I've twice gotten chicken in "vegetarian enchiladas" - and I speak Spanish!

RE: Making eating out less awkward?
Posted Monday, January 17, 2011 at 2:27 PM

I've done a la carte many times in all sorts of restaurants. I just look for the "side dishes" section of the menu and cobble something together from there. Many places now have steamed broccoli (though I check to see if it's in a butter sauce or anything), mashed cauliflower (thanks to the Atkins folks who wanted a low carb mashed option), caesar salad (get it minus the dressing or dressing "on the side" so you can ignore it - caesar traditionally is romaine whereas a 'house salad' might be lots of iceberg), mixed veggies/chef's veggies (again, check for sauces). I've even combined side dishes with salad bar options to create a nice fajita plate (they had tortillas for several options so I just asked for a plain tortilla; a side of sauteed mushrooms and onions that usually goes with the steaks; lettuce, bell pepper, and tomato from the salad bar...) or other mix'n'match dinner. Interestingly, I've had more luck with big chain places than with some of the smaller local places. But, the best of all, are locally owned and operated diners - they are set up to mix and match anything at all. DS once combined two different sandwich options and wanted extra this and none of that and they got it 100% right on the first try!

--Deb R

RE: Making eating out less awkward?
Posted Monday, January 17, 2011 at 3:46 PM

My former classmates will be meeting once a month for lunches & dinners.

Had our 1st luncheon this past Saturday. Waitress made a mistake and brought my salad with a chicken breast on top. When I told her I ordered it without meat, she said that I did. Anyway, I politely told her I was sorry she misunderstood. When it came back it was rather small, only a couple of nuts & a very small amount of fruit. I had paid extra for fresh strawberries & there were very few. The gal next to me said she heard me say "no meat". It ended up being an $18.00 salad.

Normally this would get me a little upset, but I stopped a minute and did a little "self-talk". Yes, I could complain to the manager etc., but what was this day really about? The most important thing was that I was having a great time visiting & reuniting with my former classmates. I decided I didn't want this to be all about my "meal" or the food. Thinking I'd like to go out and not always have it be all about the "food". So, made the decision to "let it go" and focus on all the fun I had.

Many restaurants have their menus posted on their websites. So, when I can I will check them out ahead of time. This way I have an idea before I get there what I can order.

I think most restaruants these days are used to substitutions. There are so many people with food allergies & intolerences these days. I also have some gluten isssues and I'm finding many restaurants have "gluten free" menus if you just ask. Also many of the fast food restaurants have their gluten free, dairy free & vegetarian items etc. listed on their websites.

Craftycat - Southern, CA
~Isaiah 43: 18 & 19 - "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!"

RE: Making eating out less awkward?
Posted Monday, January 17, 2011 at 4:27 PM

Just an idea for the language issue ~ try Babel fish. It is an online interpreter. Type in English what you want.

http://babelfish.yahoo.com/

I would like to order a burrito with no meat, substitute beans please. I would like no cheese, guacamole, or sour cream on order. Thank you!

and you get this:

Quisiera pedir un burrito sin la carne, las habas substitutas satisfago. No quisiera ninguÌ?n queso, guacamole, o crema amarga en orden. ¡Gracias!

I work in a landscaping business and our guys are mostly Hispanic. This website is a lifesaver for me!

Always offer kindness and a soft word to the beings around you; You do not know their journey. Your words can be the hug they need or the shove that breaks them.


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