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| Forums: January 2010 Kickstart Forum Archive: Eating at non-Vegan homes? | |||
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| MSMCGirl
Joined: 01/01/10 Posts: 2 |
Eating at non-Vegan homes? Posted Friday, January 1, 2010 at 7:54 PM Hi! I've always been "mostly" vegetarian (occasionally at poultry) but am not going vegan 100%. Any suggestions on what to do when you are a guest at someone's home and they serve NON-vegan food? In the past, I would eat the chicken...or fish to be polite, but I don't want to eat any animal products any more. Any suggestions?? Thanks! |
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| xflygirl
Joined: 01/01/10 Posts: 2 |
RE: Eating at non-Vegan homes? Posted Friday, January 1, 2010 at 8:34 PM That is really hard but I think people will understand. I just explain to them that I don't eat meat and I just eat the other food they have. Would you mind if someone did this at your house? Of course not so don't worry. Good Luck. |
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| serenevannoy
Location: Oakland, CA Posts: 294 |
RE: Eating at non-Vegan homes? Posted Friday, January 1, 2010 at 9:41 PM You also might consider skipping the other people's homes just for the first three weeks, so you can get a handle on these new habits. Serene Vannoy, Oakland, CA |
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| peachdiva
Joined: 01/02/10 Posts: 2 |
RE: Eating at non-Vegan homes? Posted Saturday, January 2, 2010 at 12:02 PM I'm having dinner today at a friend's house, and when she first told me the menu (chicken & rice) I figured I'd just blow being vegan for one meal. I didn't want to be one of those pain -in -the patoot picky eaters. After much thought, I called her back and explained that I didn't want to eat the chicken, and would be happy with the rice (it's being made separately) and offered to bring some of the nice butternut squash I grew in my garden, roasted. She's my friend, so she was supportive. But, if she hadn't been, I don't know what I would have done. I mean, it's just food for crying out loud; we can push the meat to the side, or not take it on our plates, and not make a big deal out of it. Right? |
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| serenevannoy
Location: Oakland, CA Posts: 294 |
RE: Eating at non-Vegan homes? Posted Saturday, January 2, 2010 at 12:38 PM Right, exactly. There's this story I heard, and it may not be true at all, but it made an impact on me when I was young: Gandhi and Mrs. Gandhi were having dinner at some British functionary's house, and when the meat was served (already plated), he just quietly ate it. When she confronted him later, he said something about kindness to all extending to PEOPLE, too, and how he knew it would wound this particular host for him to reject the food he was served. Basically, the message I got from that is that compassion to ALL is important. (That said, I think it's pretty easy to be compassionate to people and still eat vegan. Mostly by keeping our mouths shut and eating around the non-vegan foods: cut up the meat and push it around your plate; eat lots before going to the non-vegan meal so that you're not very hungry; load up on the salad and veggies; and above all, don't freak out if you end up eating a morsel of meat. It's probably a lot less meat than you would have eaten if you were just eating the way you did last year. Serene Vannoy, Oakland, CA |
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| Ninav
Joined: 12/29/09 Posts: 14 |
RE: Eating at non-Vegan homes? Posted Saturday, January 2, 2010 at 12:51 PM I think it's OK to let people know you are vegan and what your food choices are. I was not always veg but when I had visitors I wanted my guests to feel comfortable. So often times I would make another dish for my guest. Because... I wanted them to feel welcome. Another strategy is to offer to bring a vegan dish to share. I do not think it's good to push meat around on your plate and waste it... or to suffer silently. I think it's perfectly OK to let people know you don't eat meat. It's no different then being allergic to something or being diebetic. |
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| serenevannoy
Location: Oakland, CA Posts: 294 |
RE: Eating at non-Vegan homes? Posted Saturday, January 2, 2010 at 12:58 PM Choosing something is different, to my point of view, from being allergic. It makes things more difficult on the truly allergic folks if we minimize that, I think. That said, you're right -- speaking up is a perfectly good approach for some people. Keeping quiet is a perfectly good approach, too. The world needs both the whisperers and the shouters, I always say. Serene Vannoy, Oakland, CA |
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| bwason
Joined: 01/02/10 Posts: 4 |
RE: Eating at non-Vegan homes? Posted Saturday, January 2, 2010 at 2:22 PM Offering to bring a vegan dish to share when you are invited to someone's home for dinner is a great idea. I always try to choose something that is hearty and that most people will like (and that compliments the host's menu). That way, I know I'll have something to eat and I show people how good food can be without the meat, eggs, dairy. Some of my friends request I bring certain dishes now because they have become favorites! |
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tessking2010
 Location: Lansing, MI Posts: 24 |
RE: Eating at non-Vegan homes? Posted Saturday, January 2, 2010 at 2:31 PM I have found that the vegan dishes are usually the most popular because people are curious about what it is like to have a meatless and cheese-less pizza etc.
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| luvarescue
Joined: 01/02/10 Posts: 14 |
RE: Eating at non-Vegan homes? Posted Saturday, January 2, 2010 at 2:51 PM Agreeing with some of the others . . . I am not afraid to say I won't eat animal products. I simply say, "Oh wow that sounds delish. But actually, I don't eat animal products for ethical and health reasons. If you don't mind, I'd love to bring a special dish." Sometimes they refuse to have me bring a dish . . . in which case, I sometimes eat before hand and eat the other foods available (usually it's something). I stress I don't want to inconvenience them. Other comments to add- "I can't properly digest animal products, and I would be dreadfully embarrassed if I got ill in your home." I do special events- and even when I ate meat, made sure there was a vegan option. I didn't think of it as being a big deal and only dealt with vendors who felt the same. I am vegan for two reasons: ethical and health. First came the ethos, second the health. When guided by ethos, it is not acceptable, to me, in my ethos, to eat animal product to appease someone's feelings. I would rather skip a meal. It's like saying, "I'll just eat this dead animal product, just this one time." To me, I can't justify that. I haven't come across anyone who had a problem with this. When you kindly explain your viewpoint, others will be intrigued, and if not interested, at least understand you not eating meat. Go with a transition plan that makes sense to YOU though. I just told a friend, if that means eating poultry once a week, then do so, so long as you have the long-term, end result goal, of going vegan, if that is what you choose to do. Your transition plan should be SMART- Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely. Once I made the decision, I never looked back, and over a year later, still do not miss meat. Good planning was key. There are so many great options out there. |
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| MSMCGirl
Joined: 01/01/10 Posts: 2 |
RE: Eating at non-Vegan homes? Posted Saturday, January 2, 2010 at 3:08 PM Wow! Thanks for all the great replies. I think offering to bring a vegan option is a great idea. I also think eating what is available and politely declining meat is fine too. For these 21 days, I'm being a little extra cautious...I really want to make it through this period and not be tempted to "cave" because I (like Ghandi - ha ha) don't want to hurt someone's feelings. Thanks everyone for the suggestions/advice! |
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| Lucy
Joined: 01/02/10 Posts: 9 |
RE: Eating at non-Vegan homes? Posted Saturday, January 2, 2010 at 3:17 PM i think saying i dont eat xxx but offering to bring a dish to share or something to replace the bit you dont eat is best. the word vegan can be quite scary and i dont think its right to expect your host/whoever to cook up something for you.unless they offer of course. i am just getting started on the vegan way right now. i have been considering it for a while. have just been using up products in my house though. i dont think it would be right to just throw them out. not much non-vegan stuff in though so tomorrow i can get started |
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daelyn
 Posts: 3 |
RE: Eating at non-Vegan homes? Posted Saturday, January 2, 2010 at 4:19 PM Just a note to add to the topic...... Being vegan/vegetarian is not only a dietary change, it's a lifestyle change. It is important to let people in your life know that you do not eat animal products - - just as you would tell them if you were allergic to certain food items or not able to eat something for religious reasons. You should never feel ashamed or think you owe someone an explanation.
Daelyn
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JamieR
 Location: Mendocino Coast, Northern California Posts: 116 |
RE: Eating at non-Vegan homes? Posted Saturday, January 2, 2010 at 7:46 PM I think this is a great question, and we've seen lots of great responses! Ultimately, you have to decide your own comfort level...with both what you eat...and dealing with people. My DH & I don't entertain, and don't eat at other's home often. (Business keeps us busy, and we're not terribly social.) I've been vegetarian since 2005, and can't imagine eating a piece of meat for any reason....period. Frankly, I gag just thinking about it. So if I did eat at someone else's house, I just couldn't/wouldn't do eat meat. I wouldn't make a big deal about it; I just would skip the meat. If the person was a close friend or family, I'd most likely arrange to bring my own vegan food, at least one dish I knew I could eat. Those closest to us should understand what we are doing...though I know that isn't always the case. With those you don't know as well, it is a little trickier. But the larger the gathering, the less likely it is to be noticed that you are quietly skipping the meat. When I eat at my mom's house (twice a year), she knows I'm vegetarian...so she always has veggie versions of stuff ready for me. She and my dad might have a shrimp salad....she gets all sorts of fresh veggies and beans for me. I go for extended visits, so she even peruses local menus to find the best veggie dishes for me when we go out. Nice lady...I'm lucky! September Kickstart Goals: Walk/bike daily, keep up with forum, 100% low-fat vegan experimenting with maximizing FLAVOR!
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| baltikar
Joined: 01/01/10 Posts: 2 |
RE: Eating at non-Vegan homes? Posted Saturday, January 2, 2010 at 8:56 PM I have encountered more stubborn hosts. Knowing I am a diabetic, one couple did not offer anything suitable for a diabetic at an informal dinner. The attitude was if you don't want it, don't eat it; we're not accommodating you. I've learned to either decline their invitations or eat before going. I can imagine what they would do if I told them I was going vegan, as they are convinced that meat is necessary for their health. |
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ShyloP
 Location: Dallas, Tx Posts: 6 |
RE: Eating at non-Vegan homes? Posted Saturday, January 2, 2010 at 9:47 PM I agree with the earlier post that if at all possible, in the beginning you should limit your eating out. Give yourself a chance to settle in to your new way of eating before launching it on your friends. I have been cold-turkey Vegan (pardon the pun) for eight weeks now and find restaurants to be the hardest - so I avoid for now. I also agree with the other posts that say a) friends will be mostly suportive, especially if you offer to bring a yummy Vegan dish (just beware, "helpful" friends will often offer you things they think you can have, not even thinking about the butter, chicken broth, eggs, mayonaise, etc.. that are in them) b) if you do bring a Vegan dish, try to make it something non-Vegans are not going to be scared of. Leave the sea vegetables at home and make a nice salad. c) definitely eat well before you go so you don't give in out of hunger. d) remember enough alcohol and you'll be reaching for those chicken wings in no time I wouldn't take drugs to make my friends feel comfortable, I don't feel like I have to eat something I don't want to make them feel comfortable. It just takes patience and kindness.
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janicestanger
 Location: San Diego Posts: 26 |
RE: Eating at non-Vegan homes? Posted Saturday, January 2, 2010 at 9:51 PM The word vegan can put other people off. So I say I'm on a plant-based diet with people I don't know well. Often people think that means you eat fish and you have to gently correct them. Not eating the animal food is polite because you are doing the other people a service. You are showing them a different way to eat. It could open their eyes and save their lives. In terms of the meal, I always eat before I attend any lunch or dinner when I'm not sure there is a vegan option. I always plan ahead and travel with snacks. It's no big problem; by now it's second nature. I'll eat a tiny amount of salad or something like that at the actual meal. Usually people don't pay much attention. They care what they eat, not what someone else eats. My friends and family all are happy to work with me and I'll either bring a dish or give them a recipe to cook. A couple of my friends have become vegan over the years after watching how I eat and learning more about it. Very gratifying. But don't expect instant results. You might have some uncomfortable or inconvenient moments. That can be rough. But when you think of why you are doing it, that goal dwarfs the momentary issues.
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| serenevannoy
Location: Oakland, CA Posts: 294 |
RE: Eating at non-Vegan homes? Posted Saturday, January 2, 2010 at 9:53 PM I find restaurants the easiest, but I live in a place where the people who work at restaurants not only know what "vegan" means, but which items on their menus are vegan and which are not. (That said, I don't eat out much because I can't afford to, and I like to cook, and I want to control what goes into my food.) Serene Vannoy, Oakland, CA |
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| luvarescue
Joined: 01/02/10 Posts: 14 |
RE: Eating at non-Vegan homes? Posted Saturday, January 2, 2010 at 10:03 PM Not the topic, but one great site I go to is www.happycow.com. Shows what options are out there catering to the vegan cuisine. I'm in Cleveland, Ohio and there are a few places catering to it. Most places you can adapt their menu. And some, I don't go to, because of cross contamination issues (Steak houses and fish houses). |
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| Ninav
Joined: 12/29/09 Posts: 14 |
RE: Eating at non-Vegan homes? Posted Sunday, January 3, 2010 at 11:47 AM Eating out at a restaurant is an opportunity for activism and also to let people see how "easy" it can be to choose a plant based diet. I usually order a salad and then ask the waitress if the chef can saute some veggies in garlic oil and serve on pasta. In my purse I have a small bottle of nutritional yeast which is stored in a travel shampoo bottle. I also have another one with powdered soy milk. They don't take up much space and are great to have for making meals more palatable. |
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i am going out to lunch tomorrow, i will admit i am not going to worry if it is vegan just yet on my first day, as it is not fair to the host to spring that on them. they know i am vegetarian though and are fine with that. next time i will let them know in advance and offer to bring something though.
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