shawna130
Joined: 01/02/10
Posts: 3
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Vegan discrimination
Posted Sunday, January 3, 2010 at 12:28 AM
Hi all - I was a vegan for two years. I loved it and am still kinda mad at myself for falling off the wagon and giving into the pressures of being "different". The one thing I HATED about being vegan was how people used it as a way to single me out in social situations. Example: at my college, I worked in a tutoring center, everyone always made a big deal out of having potlucks since I was so hard to feed. My cousin would invite me to go out to dinner then put all the onus on me to pick a place because "I have to eat certain foods". Ugh, it really consumed a ton of energy and I just want to have my eating habits not be the center point of all my social interactions. This lifestyle is VERY important to me, it's who I really am. How can I keep from getting bogged down by other peoples "issues" with the way I choose to eat?
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serenevannoy
Joined: 12/28/09
Location: Oakland, CA
Posts: 294
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RE: Vegan discrimination
Posted Sunday, January 3, 2010 at 12:36 AM
I know I'll get poked at for this, but it's okay. If it bugs you when people make a deal out of it, don't tell them. Or just don't make a deal out of it yourself. Bring something outstanding to a potluck that you can eat, and if it's the only vegan thing there, eat that. If people make a big deal out of restaurant visits, say (this is what I say) "I pride myself on being able to feed myself wherever I am, so anyplace is fine." Or if you prefer, save dinners out for people who aren't such buttwads that they have to make you feel bad about yourself.
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shawna130
Joined: 01/02/10
Posts: 3
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RE: Vegan discrimination
Posted Sunday, January 3, 2010 at 1:06 AM
Serene - you make a valid point and you may have hit the nail on the head. I need more like-minded, vegan or at least vegetarian friends. These meat eating folks are too blinded by their cheese burger, steak, chicken nugget illusions of the way the world works that I need to kick 'em to the curb and get some new peeps. Not sure how I'm going to do that, but I'll figure something out.
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serenevannoy
Joined: 12/28/09
Location: Oakland, CA
Posts: 294
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RE: Vegan discrimination
Posted Sunday, January 3, 2010 at 1:14 AM
Well, I have lots (LOTS) of omnivorous friends, so I certainly don't choose my friends based on how they eat, but it's how they *treat* you that counts. If your friends won't respond favorably to your politeness, yeah, you may need new friends.
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pickeb21
Joined: 01/03/10
Posts: 5
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RE: Vegan discrimination
Posted Sunday, January 3, 2010 at 1:34 AM
Most of my friends eat meat and don't understand my lifestyle at all. I get poked fun at a lot. A lot of people are ignorant about healthy eating and consider us the nuts. It gets very frustrating. My own mother was visiting us today and saw me give my son a piece of candy made out of molasses and she said, "Oh, your poor children." She pities them for eating healthy. Ugh, what are you going to do?
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serenevannoy
Joined: 12/28/09
Location: Oakland, CA
Posts: 294
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RE: Vegan discrimination
Posted Sunday, January 3, 2010 at 1:40 AM
As George Herbert once said, "Living well is the best revenge." 
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Wild4Stars
Joined: 12/27/09
Location: Florida
Posts: 832
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RE: Vegan discrimination
Posted Sunday, January 3, 2010 at 4:37 AM
I have found as I've gotten older (I'm 5 other people's opinions just don't bother me much anymore. Everybody has them and most people don't know how to keep them to themselves. I just travel along my path and don't let the opinions and comments of others bother me a whole lot. If really pushed I might ask, "Why does it bother you? I don't comment on what you eat."
Vikki ~ Wild4Stars@gmail.com
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Mariberry
Joined: 01/02/10
Posts: 297
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RE: Vegan discrimination
Posted Sunday, January 3, 2010 at 11:17 AM
Here's a quote that I keep at the forefront of my mind for times like this: "It's none of my business what you think of me". The point, of course, is that as long as what I think of me is ok...other opinions (informed or otherwise) are irrelevant to me.
All we are saying is "Give Peas a Chance"
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daniel
Joined: 12/27/09
Posts: 17
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RE: Vegan discrimination
Posted Sunday, January 3, 2010 at 11:19 AM
Wild4stars I like that! daniel
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dollgirl
Joined: 12/28/09
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 131
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RE: Vegan discrimination
Posted Sunday, January 3, 2010 at 11:29 AM
Also the less attention you draw to your eating habits the less people have to comment about.
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luvarescue
Joined: 01/02/10
Posts: 14
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RE: Vegan discrimination
Posted Sunday, January 3, 2010 at 11:50 AM
Well like the others said, and perhaps it came with age with me, don't worry so much about what other people think. Think of this as, ooh I know a secret and you don't. It's not really a secret, but you know a way to healthier, more ethical eating. I am proud of myself for eating with a conscience . . . if others don't feel that way, that is there issue. I don't know if I get made fun of . . . just comments. Like, Oh that's why she is so skinny (I am the same weight I was when I changed, although body composition changed). Or, people who laugh and say, "Animals were meant to eat!" Or, the most common, "I just need my protein, I am such a busy person I need energy" (yeah, my 12 hour days at work plus volunteer boards and owning a house must mean I need no energy or sustenance). One point of discrimination, or assumptions, I get is that I am a flaming liberal. I have to say I am a Moderate Democrat, and believe in God. But, suddenly I get asked if I am an atheist, or worship trees, etc. And a communist, marxist, and socialist on top of all of it. So they mock because of that. Which I think, who cares if I am any of the above, but there is this belief that all vegans are atheist communists. I just don't like it when people generalize, on all sides of the fence.
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Ninav
Joined: 12/29/09
Posts: 14
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RE: Vegan discrimination
Posted Sunday, January 3, 2010 at 11:54 AM
I look at people's questions to my eating habits as an opportunity to gently enlighten them to the benefits of a plant based diet. The environmental issues alone are enough to make people's jaws drop and do not offend them as much. Being educated on the reasons to choose veg is as important as the practice because it helps you keep your conviction. It will also make you feel good about your choices. And it can also greatly help humans and animals. Be a gentle warrior, be understanding. Most of us ate meat and then we woke up. Now we can gently nudge others. They may not immediately respond but it's a seed planted... that might sprout at a later date.
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Wild4Stars
Joined: 12/27/09
Location: Florida
Posts: 832
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RE: Vegan discrimination
Posted Sunday, January 3, 2010 at 7:22 PM
Reminds me of the time that someone called me a "tree hugger" - I just looked at them with total disbelief and shock and said, "You've never hugged a tree? NEVER?? REALLY?" Left them a touch speechless and cracked me up!
Vikki ~ Wild4Stars@gmail.com
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dollychik
Joined: 12/30/09
Posts: 10
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RE: Vegan discrimination
Posted Sunday, January 3, 2010 at 8:00 PM
It can be very difficult when confronted with people who don't understand, or don't care to understand, why you've made the choice you have. Especially at the beginning. One helpful thing is to educate yourself as much as possible regarding the choice you've made so you feel comfortable responding to questions from others. Also, you may want to go to www.meetup.com to see if there are any vegan meetup groups in your area. That will give you a network of people in your area who are living the vegan lifestyle and another place for you to have your questions answered. Stay strong and remember all the good you're doing for yourself and the planet!
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mommyof2nc
Joined: 12/31/09
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 172
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RE: Vegan discrimination
Posted Monday, January 4, 2010 at 7:10 AM
It always surprises me that some people are so passionate about their meat that they feel the need to comment on what I'm eating every day. I work from home now but when I was working outside of the home, I got comments from a few coworkers almost every day at lunch time. Comments like, "Are you really going to eat that?" I'd just smile and say, "Yep!" and be done with it. People here are much more conservative than pretty much every other place I've lived, so I had a bit of a culture shock when we first moved here. We've been here 9 years now, though, so I'm used to it now.
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Faithella
Joined: 01/04/10
Posts: 23
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RE: Vegan discrimination
Posted Monday, January 4, 2010 at 9:30 AM
I try not to get on a soap box and the older the person is (my 81 y/o mother in law is not one to argue with) the less I care, but I will go head to head with a peer that is just not letting up. Favorite come backs: That is the muscle of another animal, are you really okay with that? Do you know where that things has been? Can I send flowers after your bypass? Since both my parents died of heart disease I guess I just thought living to see my grandkids is more important than the dead animal your eating.
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mray
Joined: 01/04/10
Posts: 15
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RE: Vegan discrimination
Posted Monday, January 4, 2010 at 9:57 AM
I live with avid meat-eaters. I love them both, but our different food habits are sometimes really a problem. My colleagues at work tend to worry about where to go to lunch with me so I just take the opportunity to suggest something I really want and they usually go along with it. I find that my most hated questions is "But what DO you eat then?" - I try to smile broadly and say just about everything else - lots of it, and really well but sometimes I loose my cool . When I loose my cool I tell people that most of the rest of the world is starving so that they can have their ham sandwich . But I have to say the first approach is more effective and leads to people really thinking about what a plant based diet could look like.
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babalonia
Joined: 01/04/10
Posts: 60
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RE: Vegan discrimination
Posted Monday, January 4, 2010 at 1:51 PM
If people act all worried about choosing a restaurant because I'll be there, I just tell them that I have yet to find a restaurant where there's absolutely nothing that I can eat. I can always get a salad and tell them to hold the animal products, or get side dishes. If people have a problem with what I choose to eat, that's their problem, not mine. I feel so good on a vegan diet that I'm not about to change just because someone has an issue with it.
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luvarescue
Joined: 01/02/10
Posts: 14
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RE: Vegan discrimination
Posted Monday, January 4, 2010 at 3:06 PM
Faithella wrote: Favorite come backs: That is the muscle of another animal, are you really okay with that? Do you know where that things has been? Can I send flowers after your bypass? Since both my parents died of heart disease I guess I just thought living to see my grandkids is more important than the dead animal your eating. I like that! now I have some new material. The other one's I say (especially when they question those Vegan Burgers or bean burgers, tofu), "Well you are eating a chicken's boob so i'm thinking a bean isn't too strange," or, "How does that pig's rump taste?" Or, if a sickly person lectures me on my diet (which is dietician approved super healthy), then quotes their's, I say, "And how's that working out for you?" But I need new material. It's usually pretty effective though. And I should say, I do so respectfully because I don't want to become the offender, just the enlightening comedian.
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serenevannoy
Joined: 12/28/09
Location: Oakland, CA
Posts: 294
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RE: Vegan discrimination
Posted Monday, January 4, 2010 at 3:13 PM
I usually just say "Well, I'm happy this way, thanks" and use the broken-record technique if they keep it up:
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